Hoshi no Kaabii Deleted Episodes
by Wisecrack Idiots
Summary: For anyone who has seen the kick-ass Kirby anime in its respected Japanese form, and wondered, "Why, OH WHY, did they end it at 100 episodes?" then do not despair! They HAVE made more than a hundred episodes! Make way for the second rendition of the show!
1. Guilt Trip: PT 1

**Hoshi no Kaabii: Deleted Episodes**

Welcome—a drum roll, if you please!—to our new fanfiction. Based off of _Hoshi no Kaabii _(_Kirby of the Stars_/_Kirby: Right Back at Ya!_), it consists of chapters that are like episodes. They're what you might call the "unaired" episodes that got cut out and were sprawled all over the director's floor. We managed to break into the studio one day wearing a whole crapload of useless spy gear, black tights, and a ski mask each. Armed with only a peanut butter sandwich and twenty-seven hamsters, we stole the scraps of footage. And then using a grappling hook, we swung out the nearest open window and onto Godzilla, our get-away dinosaur.

There was no way we'd have been able to repair the lost footage with only duct tape and Elmer's glue, so we had to settle for writing it out.

Now, you may be wondering: "Why the _heck_ aren't you both in jail for theft/plagiarism/breaking and entering/ _and_ smashing over a hundred buildings while escaping Japan?" We've also asked ourselves this numerous times; we're inclined to think that Masahiro Sakurai, Yoshikawa and all of the other animators, playscript writers, voice actors, and so on beamed happily and took off their hats to us as we rampaged back to mainland screaming, "THE WORLD WILL KNOW!" They smiled, oh yes they did.

From that moment on we knew that it was our destiny: to take over Canada with weapons of math destruction (rulers, protractors, etc.), and re-write the unseen episodes of _Hoshi no Kaabii_ (Hey, they had to cut out some of the episodes in order to have the show end at exactly 100 aired). So as to not confuse you—in honor of its Japanese origin—all of the characters will retain their original Japanese names. Below we have compiled a brief glossary for reference.

– sam & alex

* * *

**A Dictionary for Dub Watchers**

Names to the left are the ones that will be used (minus Maberu) and are the Japanese versions used in _Hoshi no Kaabii_. The names to the right are the translations, comparisons, and English dub names (with the exception of Kaabii) which will NOT BE USED. If a name is kept as it is that's because it's the same thing in both the Japanese and English dub.

**Characters**:

**Kirby** — Kaabii in Japanese.**  
(King)** **Dedede** — kept as Dedede.**  
(Doctor)** **Escargon** — Escargoon in English dub.**  
Fumu** — Tiff in English dub.**  
Bun** — Tuff in English dub.**  
Tokkori** — kept as Tokkori.**  
(Sir)** **Meta Knight** — kept as Meta Knight.**  
Sword (Knight)** — kept as Sword.**  
Blade (Knight)** — kept as Blade.**  
Memu** — Lady Like in English dub.**  
Parm** — Sir Ebrum in English dub.**  
Waddle Doo and Waddle Dee(s)** — kept in original names.**  
Lololo** — Fololo in English dub.**  
Lalala** — Falala in English dub.**  
Mayor Len** — Mayor Len Blustergas in English dub.**  
Hana** — kept as Hana.**  
Chief Borun** — Chief Bookem in English dub.**  
Sato** — Buttercup in English dub.**  
Mr. Curio** — Prof. Curio in English dub.**  
Maberu** — Mabel in English dub, and also will be used as such on our fanfiction, as the two are generally both used in Japanese and Americanized  
episodes.**  
Samo** — kept as Samo.**  
Tago** — Tuggle in English dub.**  
Gangu** — Gengu in English dub.**  
Kawasaki** — kept as Kawasaki.**  
Gus** — kept as Gus.**  
Moso** — Melman in English dub.**  
Iroo** — Spikehead in English dub.**  
Hohhe** — Iroo in English dub.**  
Honey** — kept as Honey.**  
Yabui** — kept as Yabui.**  
Doron** — kept as Doron.**  
Biburi** — Bibli in English dub.**  
Knuckle Joe** — kept as Knuckle Joe.**  
Silicia** — Siricia in English dub.**  
Nightmare** — eNeMeE in English dub.**  
Customer Service** — Frontman, NME Salesguy in English dub.**  
Animals and denizens of Whispy Woods** — these names are the same in both languages, so no problems here.

**Items and Places**:

"**Suika"** — watermelon, Kirby's favorite snack! (Kirby often uses this phrase; even though he can't talk, in the episodes he often repeats words.)**  
Pupu Village** — Cappy Town in the English dub.**  
Pupupuland** — Dreamland in the English dub. This semi-tropical country is located on the Planet Popstar. (As you all should know; if you don't, then why the heck are you reading this fanfiction?) Its only known and largest town is Pupu Village, inhabited by Cappies and travelers from the north and south. It never snows here. Dedede is the "dictator"-in-charge.

**Unmentioned Guest Characters, Demon Beasts, Et Cetera**:

To shorten the list we're basically putting that all of the demon beasts and guest characters will also be retaining their Japanese names, unless they're the same freaking thing in English like the animals and demons are. Depending on what the scraps of footage tell us, we may not find episodes that were supposed to air with certain characters. Oh! There's a roll of footage here that looks promising! It has a picture of Bun in a dress! Now _that_ looks like an interesting episode...

**IMPORTANT****! ****IMPORTANTE****! ****TAISHITA****! ****CONSIDÉRABLE****! **

Characters, plots, settings and all Kirby related things are © Nintendo. If we did own them, however, then Meta Knight would have to sing karaoke for us every night, all the Cappies wouldn't have cinder blocks for brains, and Watermelon Day would be an official holiday in every country on Earth.

**A/N**: Everyone is _pretty much_ kept in character. Bun might act a bit too much like an ignorant brat, but he's always been a blunt and honest kid in the series. _Seriously_. Anyway, he has good intentions—they just got a bit out of hand. Fumu is still snappish, smart and kind, and Meta Knight is—well, Meta Knight, of course! In this case, it's a whole new side of inexperience! (Don't forget that he hasn't seen everything, the know-it-all.) That's all we can say without giving too much away. (Suggestions are appreciated.)

This fanfiction is rated for obvious reasons. (Mild cursing and implications, but nothing too bad. The actual show in the Japanese does include this stuff, so don't say that we didn't warn you...)

* * *

Deleted Episode 1:** Guilt Trip**

"Your Majesty, please slow down!"

The sun just barely crested the edge of the horizon, milky light barely illuminating the dark and tranquil path Dedede and Escargon were taking through Whispy Woods. It would have been a beautiful sunrise worth waking to—if they had been in the mood or right place to enjoy it.

Escargon panted and stopped on the steep, vertical hiking trail to shrug off his large and ridiculously over-sized backpack. "Dedede!" he yelled up ahead, his voice cracking slightly. "Can we stop to rest? My feet are killing me!"

The always blunt and unsympathetic voice shouted back, "You don't _have_ any feet! Now pick up the pace!"

Cursing and grumbling under his breath, Escargon hitched on his luggage and scampered the last quarter mile after His Majesty.

The trail leveled out on a grassy plateau. Here the trees thinned out, revealing a course river that at some point hit the nearby ravine and cascaded down the sheer cliff side. Escargon blinked; more of a naturalist then his companion, he was awed by the rather majestic sight.

"Is this the place?"

Dedede spun around and nodded proudly. "Yep," he answered, grinning. "And now, all we have to do is lure Kirby out here, get him close enough to the edge, sneak up behind and—_wham_!"

He mimed shoving something and let loose a malicious cackle. Escargon beamed.

"Genius."

"No more Kirby! And the best part is that I don't need to order a demon beast to do the work for us! Let sweet Mother Nature rid us of our pink pest, cash free."

Escargon set down his backpack and stretched, suddenly looking uncertain. "You know, I still see a gaping hole in the plan."

"Eh?" Fury crept across Dedede's face. He looked insulted. "What do you mean? There's not a flaw!"

The snail tried his best to look innocent, yet at the same time sound logical. "Let's think about it. Those brats are always at his side. Even if we do manage to split them apart, how can we lure him out here without Kirby not spotting us, and then, just perfectly timing it right—virtually impossible—push him over the cliff without us toppling over instead?" Escargon allowed himself a deep gulp of air. Pleased with himself, we waited for Dedede's reaction. To his disappointment the king still looked smug and unimpressed.

"Simple. He's stupid and we're not. Besides, I don't see Kirby being to resist—_this_!" From within his festive jacket he withdrew an apple.

While Escargon accepted the apple to study Dedede went on: "No one would question a bunch of apples littering the ground. They drop like rocks around here, and Kirby'll just go on eating them. Then when he gets here we'll leave him with a meal large enough to distract him and he'll be too busy to notice us coming up from behind."

"But apples falling in a _perfectly straight line_?"

Dedede thrust his face forward and leered unpleasantly. "Have you ever known anyone crazy enough to go in here and come back out?"

Chuckling darkly, he swiped back the apple and took a bite.

Escargon gulped. "Other than Moso, the kids and Kirby? Just you and I, Your Majesty." Suddenly cottoning on, Escargon grinned. "This _is_ too perfect! And with Kirby finally out of the way..."

"...No more interruptions! No more nosing around! The kids would be too heartbroken to try and stop us, Kabu can't move, so what's he gonna do? And Meta Knight is loyal to_ us_. We'll have no more problematic pests!"

Satisfied, the two "friends" allowed themselves a moment to perfect their "evil laughter" and cackle into the rising sun. Unknown to them, they weren't alone. Bushes rustled, and two pairs of eyes blinked from the darkness.

"I can't believe them," hissed Fumu scornfully, drawing back to brush nettles out of her hair.

Bun withdrew his head and joined her in the undergrowth, scowling. "Man, would I love to get my fists on them!"

"And what, get smacked around with his mallet and then get kidnapped? No, thank you." Fumu sniffed.

Bun gave her an affectionate nudge. "Aww, c'mon!" he protested. "Meta Knight taught you how to fight, didn't he?"

"Well, yes," Fumu admitted reluctantly, "but that's for self defense, not assault." She sighed. "We should go back and warn Kirby."

Earlier that morning Bun had woken up feeling particularly thirsty. A glass in hand, on his way back to his own room he had spotted Escargon and Dedede slinking around. Something about their crafty behavior had made him nervous, and he had alerted his sister. Silently—having a firsthand experience of the forest's geography—they had managed to track them without being noticed as far as the waterfall.

Before Fumu could turn to leave Bun grabbed her wrist. "Wait." He pointed back toward the river. Following his gaze, Fumu realized what he was referring to: Dedede and Escargon had their backs turned toward them and were bending over the water.

She gaped at him. "You wouldn't."

"I'm not going to push them," Bun replied, looking insulted that she'd think that. "I'm just going to spook them. And with all that equipment they're carrying, they'll never be able to keep up the moment we run for it. What a great entry, too; it won't look bad for us if we burst into the town with those two on our heels, hellbent on catching us—again."

Fumu narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. She couldn't help but admire his bold and daring plan, but the thought of giving him the satisfaction of knowing that annoyed her. "B-but," she stammered at last, "you _can't_ be serious. That's still a big risk."

Her brother shrugged. "Fine. You go back and I'll spook them and run back to Pupu Village. Be a chicken."

Fumu snapped. "I am not a chicken," she retorted in a hushed voice. "I just have more common sense! I'd rather give Kirby a fair warning than go risking my own neck! What if we get captured? Then Kirby would be dead."

Bun still didn't look worried, nor was still listening. In fact, he'd already left the shelter of the brambles and was stealthily creeping behind rocks and boulders, edging closer to the unsuspecting duo.

Fumu slapped her hand across her face, leaving a red hand print. "The things I do, you'd think I was suicidal," she complained. Scanning for cover, she ducked out through the bushes and flattened herself to the grass.

When she caught up with her brother, Bun and Fumu nervously edged closer. A few meters away, they could hear what Escargon was saying:

"—and because he'll have eaten all those apples, it'll ensure that he can't swim out or fly."

"The current will be fast enough to bring him straight toward the drop, right?" Dedede inquired.

Escargon nodded. "Guaranteed," he confirmed. "And if the height and speed of his fall don't kill him, then the rocks at the bottom surely will. And by then, no one can do a thing about it."

"Except rat on you."

Escargon and Dedede let out yelps of surprise and jumped back. Losing their footing, the two began to teeter on the ridge of the bank. One weighed down by the backpack of heavy gear, the other by his own protuberant body mass, they easily slipped and splashed into the frothing rapids.

"Ha!" declared Bun triumphantly, punching the air. "Teaches you to be more careful next time about who you let overhear!"

Though Bun was an oblivious hothead, Fumu caught on rather quickly when she saw neither of them resurface.

"They're drowning! We've got to help them." Fumu gasped.

"Hey, wait!" Bun yelped, dodging in front of her with his arms extended to bar the way. "It could be a trick! They might try and drag you in! Then my efforts will have been in vain. Besides," he snorted, "it's not like they can't float, let alone swim."

Fumu tugged her hair in frustration. Grabbing his face, she swung Bun around so that he was able to see a half-hidden sign covered in thick ivy: DANGER — STRONG CURRENT.

"Kirby can't read that, and apparently neither can you!" snapped Fumu, releasing her brother's jaw.

Bun rubbed his sore face and stared back defiantly, holding his ground. "Let 'em. It's not like they're actually going to die!" He let out an amused chuckle. "Besides," he joked, "even if they did, wouldn't we be doing the village a favor?" Seeing her astonished and malevolent glare, he tacked on hastily, "I was kidding, I was kidding! Look, if you're so concerned run up ahead and see if they managed to drag themselves out of the water."

"Bun." Fumu had to take a deep, meditative breath in order to control her anger. _We're wasting time._ "If they survive the drop ahead then the rocks will impale them like sheets of paper."

Saying that, she turned on her heel and rushed off downstream. Bun lingered; then, against his better judgment, grudgingly took off after her, yelling, "Hey, wait!"

The two followed the winding current, keeping their eyes peeled for any sign of Dedede and Escargon. It seemed that the two_ hadn't_ managed to swim to shore in the violent water. Worried, Fumu kicked in a second gear and sped up. Though in the past the two had always managed to survive all the danger that sprang up from their scheming, she was still concerned. Bun followed promptly.

As they cleared the last stretch of forest they found the precarious drop to the falls. Water sprayed the ravine side and cascaded down some fifty feet. They stopped short, and with a gasp Bun cried, "There!"

Dedede and Escargon clung to a gnarled branch that grew crookedly out of the cliff face. Actually, _Dedede_ was clinging to Escargon, who was still somehow keeping himself _and_ Dedede up.

Fumu sprang forward to the last stretch of rocky outcrop and chanced a look down. The view wasn't pretty, and made her uncomfortable. The dizzying height showed just how high up they really were. Dedede certainly hadn't pick this place for the scenic view—below, the torrent emptied out into a large pool with deep channels. Rocks studded the rippling surface like spearheads. The mouth of the pool emptied out into another, much calmer river. It vanished into another grove of Whispy's trees.

Fumu crept forward slowly, carefully to keep her footing. Behind her she could hear Bun scuffling in her wake, breathing heavily. Swallowing the last of her fear, Fumu stretched out her hand to Escargon.

"Grab hold!" she yelled over the roar of the pounding sheets of water.

Escargon looked gratefully at her. As he adjusted his grip and let one hand free, his limb began to tremble and the weight doubled.

Dedede gaped, and—unable to keep his slippery grip—let go.

"No!"

To Fumu's amazement Bun threw himself onto his stomach and grabbed Dedede's flailing arms. The two locked eyes, and Dedede jerked. Bun began to slide forward.

"You're—too—heavy," Bun grunted through bared teeth. Sheepishly, he added, "Sorry, but I have to let go."

"WHAT?!" snarled Dedede, and a second later he plummeted into the endless mist below as Bun withdrew his clasp.

Out of shock Fumu let go of Escargon without realizing it. Ignoring his petrified scream of, "Arggghhhh!" she rounded on her brother with pronounced fury. "How could you let go of him?"

"You're one to talk," snapped Bun, rubbing his sore wrists. "You just let go of Escargon, hypocrite."

Fumu turned ghost white. "I did _what_?" she gasped, and spun back around to face the drop. Escargon was indeed gone.

Both crept side-by-side and gripped the ledge tightly, staring down through eyes glazed with shock.

"We—we let go," whispered Fumu, trembling.

Bun swallowed. "C-Come off of it," he laughed weakly. "I'm sure they're fine."

Not daring to contradict her little brother, Fumu drew back sharply and beckoned with her hand. "Hurry up and follow me. I saw a way down on the other side of the valley—a way that doesn't involve us getting wet."

* * *

"Any sign of them?" Fumu asked.

Bun rounded a bend in the brook and approached wearily. Both of them were at the base of the perilous drop, searching for any signs of Dedede and Escargon. While Fumu had checked around the pool, she had sent Bun ahead to scout the river as far as the meadow on the edge of Whispy Woods.

Bun slumped toward his sister and slid to the ground with his back to the bark of a tree. "Nope," he panted, banging his head against the wood. "Just this." He held up Escargon's backpack.

Fumu snatched it from him and turned it over, shaking it violently. Empty.

"Drat," she fretted, throwing it on the ground angrily. "They couldn't have just vanished!"

"Sis."

Chilled by the nervousness in his voice, Fumu didn't dare meet his gaze. "Yes?"

"I don't think that they "just vanished"—look." Pointing with a shaking hand, Bun gestured toward one of the spiked rocks. Caught on the tip of it was Dedede's snowballed hat.

"I'm not swimming out their to get it," Bun told her firmly.

Fumu shuddered. "That doesn't matter. You do know what this means, don't you?"

"Uh." Bun looked at her nervously, flinching away. "No, I—I don't."

"They're dead." Fumu gave him a long, despondent look. "We killed them, Bun. We're murderers."

"No, it can't be true. Are you sure on this?" Bun looked nervous as he waited for her answer.

"Yes," Fumu declared. "There are no signs of them or their bodies anywhere. We silenced them once and for all."

"What? Are you nuts? We tried to _save_ them!" Bun retorted. "How does that classify as killing someone?"

"We both stood by and watched them get carried away by the rapids, both near drowning, fully aware that they could fall over the edge. That's one point against us already! And then we let them go—and you dropped Dedede on purpose!"

"He was _fat_!"

"It doesn't matter." Fumu fell to her knees and sighed. "They're gone, and the law is against us. Now we've got to turn ourselves in—"

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" roared Bun, jumping to his feet and rounding on her furiously. "You _want_ to go to prison?"

"There's yet another law that says if we don't report the incident then we _still_ go to jail! That's strike THREE."

Bun rolled his eyes. "That's the most ridiculous crap I've ever heard," he spat. "Look, no one saw us, right? They'll just assume that Dedede and Escargon are out and about doing king-related stuff. So what if they never show up? They'll get worried, but no one actually likes the guy."

"Doesn't matter," Fumu waved him down. "Chief Borun is a workaholic. He sticks to the rule book like glue; even if it's for Dedede, who's constantly breaking the law, he'll still turn us in because he's duty-bound."

"That's a right old slap in the face." Bun sulked. "But," he went on cautiously, "if no one ever found their"—he gulped—"bodies, then no one can exactly blame us, so as long as we keep our mouths shut. We're so often _saving_ the town that we'll be the last ones they suspect! Chief Borun would probably arrest _Kawasaki _before us."

"But suppose that—by some miracle—they do come back," reasoned Fumu. "Dedede and Escargon are going to shout to the sky that it was us who did it—and they'll make the story more exaggerated and dramatic than it really is! And even if nobody believes their exaggerated story, they'll still know that we knew they had fell to their near deaths, and neglected to tell anyone. We'll go to jail just for that alone."

"But you said so yourself, they're _dead_. Dead people can't turn you in to the law."

Fumu flinched, then let out another sigh. "I suppose you're right. We should return to the castle, and decide what to do from there as soon as things... settle down."

"I second the motion!" Bun piped up eagerly.

As both began to turn away the eldest sibling paused. "Bun," she said nervously, "perhaps we should say a few words? You know, if they're still—lingering around."

Bun didn't argue. Instead he nodded, looking uncharacteristically regretful. "Sure. You go first?"

Fumu scampered toward the water's edge—then, thinking quickly, she backtracked a few feet to pick a lily off a bush. Bun muttered something that sounded like, "You're so cheesy," before joining her.

"Dedede? Escargon?" Fumu spoke to the mist—after all, who else was she supposed to talk to?—"We're really, really sorry that you...died." A cold lump formed in her throat, and she swallowed bitterly. "We didn't mean it, and for all those times you tried to destroy the village—well, we forgive you. And we hope that you're both at peace."

Fumu elbowed Bun sharply in the ribs for him to say something. He squeaked out in pain and gave her an edgy look. He reluctantly accepted the lily.

Addressing the mist, Bun began. "Ditto to what my sister said, and if you're _vengeful _spirits, then please don't haunt us. It was all Fumu's fault, and if you come back as ghosts then be warned: I'm getting holy water and garlic."

Finishing his speech, he chucked the lily. It briefly hovered in the breeze before gently tapping the surface. Ripples echoed out from the single vibration in small rings that quickly subside. The gentle, lapping waves drew it back into the mist under the cascade of foaming water, and it vanished.

"Well." Too choked up to check her brother's rudeness, Fumu turned away. "Let's get going if we want to be back before our parents notice we left."

The two quickly turned away and fled into the land veiled by mist and trees. Over the roar of the waterfall, brother and sister didn't hear a single, deep hoot call out from a nearby oak tree.

Perched from the rim of a weathered hollow, Coo watched them vanish through narrowed, intently thoughtful eyes.

* * *

Back at the castle's gates, Bun and Fumu paused to catch their breath. Mist had rolled over and hid them for the most part of their journey, though they had still clung stubbornly to the fading shadows just as the sun rose higher in the sky, now moving slightly past the horizon line.

"If this is what being an outlaw feels like," groaned Bun, trying to make a joke, "then I don't know how Midwestern folk could stand it. It feels like we're being hunted, eh?"

Fumu could only nod, on the way back she had sobbed and grown tight-throated. Despite Kirby and Dedede's continuous rivalry—where the king almost had Kirby close to the brink of extermination—she couldn't help but feel remorseful. It was their fault, and never had Fumu dreamed of stooping to such a low level such as murder, however unintentional.

Bun noticed her grief-twisted face and gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "Come on," he encouraged her brightly. "I don't know about you but I'm starving! I can almost smell Mom's pancakes."

Brightening, Fumu followed her younger brother across the lowered drawbridge. The moment they crossed the moat into the courtyards Waddle Doo stepped out from behind a hedge.

"Hi!"

His rather sudden appearance startled them, and both let out yelps of terror before careening backwards into the stone wall. Waddle Doo blinked his single eye in surprise.

"It's just me," he assured them, hurrying forward. "What are you guys doing out here?" he questioned them, offering them each a hand.

"What are you doing out here?" Bun retorted, hopping to his feet.

Waddle Doo let out a tinkly chuckle. "_I'm_ on guard duty, and as the head guard around here it's _my_ job to ask the questions." He smiled—or, what they thought was a smile. Having no mouth, it was impossible to tell.

Fumu swallowed nervously, feeling pressured. "We—we j-just we-went out for...for..."

Teeth chattering, Fumu couldn't continue.

Waddle Doo looked at her in concern. "Does she have a cold or something? Her nose is running."

"Oh, yeah," Bun intervened quickly. "We went for a morning jog and she caught something. We decided to head back early before it got any worse."

"Early?" Waddle Doo snorted. "It's early now. Hardly past seven, mind you. But that's thoughtful." His gaze softened, and he stepped aside. "Hurry up to the castle. I'll tell my troops not to question you for being out so early."

"Thanks," Bun said hurriedly, ushering his sister along. As soon as they were out of earshot he muttered, "Yeah, right, as if they can_ talk_."

"Wait!" Waddle Doo called them back. "Have you seen His Majesty or His Excellency? He wasn't in his chamber this morning when I went to rouse him, and none of the sentries reported spotting him either. And Escargon-san wasn't in his usual seat in the dungeons broadcasting, so I figured you'd seen them."

Both of them let out muffled gasps. Glancing over his shoulder, Bun yelled back nervously, "N-Nope! Haven't seen—seen them i-in ages! Gotta go, bye!"

And they hared the rest of the way across the courtyards.

Their trip was quick as they worked their way up through the castle's many levels, reaching their floor. Glancing around corners, they paused at intervals. At one point Fumu had to grab Bun by the strap slung over his shoulder and haul him into a broom closet just as Meta Knight walked by.

"Close one," she muttered hoarsely. Their bolt continued.

At last outside their own family's living quarters, Bun allowed himself to _breathe_ again. Very slowly he tiptoed forward and opened the door. Fumu slid past him, and her brother stepped backward, closing the door behind him noiselessly with his hand still gripping the handle.

"WHERE _HAVE_ YOU TWO _BEEN_?"

There was no mistaking the ominous snarl. Startled, they spun around face-to-face with their mother. Parm hovered in the background, looking anxious and possibly scared of his own wife.

"Beds empty? No note?" breathed Memu angrily, hands on her hips. Her eyes flamed dangerously. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"We—we went for a morning jog not far from the castle. You know, that small g-glade south of here by a mile," lied Bun meekly, lowering his eyes. "We thought we'd be back sooner, but Fumu caught a cold and that made the return trip slower."

Memu's anger ebbed slightly when she noted how much smaller and crestfallen Fumu looked. "Well," she huffed, "I can't blame you. You're both capable of taking care of yourselves, but still! It's dangerous out at such an early time. I raised you both to have more common sense than that. You could have tripped in the dark, or—or walked off a cliff!"

Fumu hiccuped slightly and looked away. Bun stiffened.

Memu sighed and gave her daughter a long look. "It's nothing to cry over. Just tell us next time. Hn?" She took a few steps toward Fumu. "Are you okay, dear?"

"She's fine!" Bun quickly stepped forward and steered her sister toward their own rooms. "I'll take care of her; Sis here just needs bed rest! And look, we'll punish ourselves, too." Grinning awkwardly, he waved and egged his sister down a smaller hallway.

Bun then stuck his head out and added hastily, "We'll be in our rooms!" and retreated.

Their parents exchanged confused looks.

"Have we ever known our kids...to punish themselves?" Parm asked slowly.

Memu returned the look, equally worried. "Never. But I'm sure they'll be fine."

* * *

"That was close," Bun whispered as he sank onto the carpet. The two had taken shelter in Fumu's room to discuss what had happened in private. For extra measures, Bun had also opened a nearby air vent. Sound traveled through the duct from the opposite side of the wall, and if their parents approached they would have enough warning to pipe down.

Bun turned toward Fumu and pointed accusingly. "Look, you've got to calm down. As soon as you hear a word that's related to what—what happened..." He trailed off for a moment. "You break down! Keep it up and we're as good as turning ourselves in!"

Fumu sat up, looking slightly less ill. Her eyes shone. "I know. But I can't help it." She paused for a moment before raising her voice in an attempt to defend herself, "Give me a break!"

Bun threw his hands up and shook his head. " Well then toughen up—please! For our sakes," he begged. "L-Look, I'm as jumpy as you are, but we've got to play it cool. Lay low for a while, until it blows over or something."

"Have you ever heard of cases about missing people?" snapped Fumu, sounding more like her old self. "They spend months and months looking, and they still keep open files on the case when—perhaps years later—any new scrap of information resurfaces! Like a body or clothing."

Bun shook his head. "We just have to keep quiet," he insisted. "A plan of action will come later."

Fumu looked up at him and fixed Bun with an oddly penetrating, steely gaze. When she spoke, it was only to say in defeat, "Whatever we're going to do, we'd better do it soon—or else."

* * *

Three hours later and at Bun's prompting they walked down a street in Pupu Village, heading toward Kawasaki's restaurant. Both had agreed that some fresh air and some food would be good for them, and so far they hadn't heard a whisper about Dedede and Escargon's disappearance.

The familiar sight of the sliding doors cheered Fumu slightly. Despite Kawasaki's bad cooking it was a relief to be back in the familiar.

Just as she opened the door Fumu spotted the chef speaking with Mayor Len, Sato and Hana.

"—and Waddle Doo came here as well. He was frantic, and when Borun couldn't tell him anything it broke his heart, I think. He must feel like he failed as a guard," Kawasaki was saying, brandishing a butcher's knife. "He burst in so suddenly while I was slicing ham that he scared me half to death! I thought he was a paying customer at first," he added, as if an afterthought.

Mayor Len laughed, and was quickly silenced by Hana and Sato's firm glares.

At the word "death" both gave tiny squeaks of surprise.

As Kawasaki turned, preparing to say "Welcome," he found that the door was open with a cool wind blowing through it.

"I could have sworn..." The chef rubbed the back of his head. "Odd. Anyway, as I was saying—"

* * *

"That—was—too close—for comfort," panted Fumu, her back pressed to the restaurant. They were in the alleyway next door, wide-eyed and clutching their chests for fear their hearts might have stopped out of shock. Hey, it never hurt to double-check.

"I wonder if everybody knows now. Do you suppose it'll take long for the Cappies to start talking about it?" Bun asked worriedly.

"Word here travels fast," Fumu reminded him. "Give it an hour and the whole village will be gossiping about it." She laughed nervously. Suddenly the older sister grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out into the light.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"Oh, be still and stop squirming," she ordered in a low breath, guiding him down another street. "If everybody starts putting two-and-two together then we'll need to figure out just what we're going up against."

* * *

"The punishment for murder?" Borun echoed, looking up from his paperwork. "What's got you interested in that boring old stuff?" Despite his words, he looked excited when it came to talking about his job.

Fumu and Bun stood side-by-side in the jailhouse before Chief Borun. Swallowing, Fumu answered as carefully as she could, "You see, I was brushing up a bit on Ancient Cappy law systems, and I wanted to do a compare and contrast of ancient punishments for murder then and now."

Borun seemed delighted. He stepped around his desk and ruffled their hair affectionately. "It's so wonderful to see kids taking an interest in law enforcement! Policeman and woman in training," he sighed dreamily. "_You_ could take a page from their book!" he added sharply to Doron.

The kleptomaniac shrugged indifferently.

"Well, on a regular basis, prisoners like him"—Borun jerked his hand toward Doron again—"are locked up for short periods. Normally on petty cases, such as theft. In his case it's just because I don't like him." He gave a quick bark of laughter, then added, "But it depends on the crime. Murder is a large step up from general crimes."

Bun tilted his head. "I don't get it."

Borun smiled and sat back in his chair comfortably. "Well, there are three degrees of murder— First, Second, and Third. It depends on the scenario that dictates the charges and actions that must follow. Unless you have an example, I can't explain it any better."

Fumu rubbed her chin thoughtfully, before allowing a shrewd gleam to enter her eyes. "Say you—however accidentally—managed to cause someone to fall into something like a river. And this guy was of royalty. And you didn't try to save him—or them, if there's more than one—until the last second. And then while trying to help them you let go—on purpose, and they fell to their deaths. What happens then? And remember, this is all hypothetical." She blinked innocently at Borun.

The police captain frowned. "That's a toughie," he murmured, "and considering the circumstances, I'd say it's a good, long jail sentence to prison or..." He faltered.

"What?" asked Bun edgily.

"Well, sometimes, under certain circumstances the law's really vicious—and around here_ I'm_ the law, next to Dedede of course—and on very rare cases the death penalty is invoked."

"Death penalty?" the siblings echoed.

Borun nodded, looking grim. "We haven't used it in years, but, it was where your sentence was death." He shuddered, but it was impossible to tell if he was serious or doing it for the effect.

"The old way used to be by electric chair or killer bee swarms, but with the passing years it's become more modern in relationship to this century. A single injection from a needle and—well, you get the idea." He grinned and winked. "Makes you think twice about going to Yabui's for a shot, doesn't it?"

Bun and Fumu turned ghost white, and without an invite burst out of his station screaming their heads off.

Borun blinked in bewilderment and sweat-dropped. Turning to his prisoner, he asked in a disgruntled tone, "Did I say something wrong?"

Doron nodded in reply.

"Eh, what do you know? You're rotting away in jail."

Doron clapped enthusiastically and took a bow.

* * *

Under the great tree that occupied the town square, Fumu and Bun sat side-by-side on a bench. Dappled sunlight flickered across the cobblestone road and offered them some cool shade. It relieved them slightly of the sweat gathering on their foreheads.

Bun massaged his temples and declared quietly, "I've got to tell someone. At least we'll get food, and who knows? Maybe Kirby will come down to the station and visit us once in awhile."

"You can't!" Panic flared in Fumu's eyes like firecrackers. "You heard what he said. _The death penalty! _I'd read about that once and thought it was a joke, but..." She trailed off, unable to voice what she was thinking aloud. "You can't turn yourself in! Besides, you suggested not saying anything in the first place."

"'Secrets, secrets are no fun, they can really hurt someone'," moaned Bun, standing up. "Later."

Before Fumu could protest the green-haired youth began to walk toward a group of other motherly Cappies.

_He isn't serious_, Fumu thought. She strained her ears, and realized how wrong she was when Bun requested, "Can I tell you something? It's important."

"Sure, sonny!" said one with a warm, concerned smile.

Fumu gasped. Before Bun could open his mouth she dashed across the street and intervened. "Sorry," she huffed, inventing wildly. "He's practicing for his talent show, to see how desperate-looking he can possibly get. What a card, eh?"

Over-apologizing profusely to the dumbfounded Cappies, Fumu quickly dragged her brother away. Once out of earshot she released her grip on Bun and tapped her foot.

"Are you_ trying _to get us killed?" she hissed. "Well, I hope you're happy, because it's working!"

Bun squared his shoulders and met her gaze steadily. "Isn't it bugging you?" he asked her. "Well, look, you got a chance to have your little "episode" earlier, so now it's my turn. Just try and stop me."

Whirling around, he stalked off toward the playground where Hohhe, Iroo and Honey were.

Before Bun had even opened his mouth Fumu let out a Jurassic yell and flew at him like a wildcat. She pinned him to the ground, panting. "Knock it off," she breathed. Then she glanced up.

The other three were giving her odd looks from the very athletic feat she had pulled off—and out of the blue, too! Grinning sheepishly, she stared down at Bun and poked him lightly. "Er, tag, you're it?"

"If that's how you play tag, then never ask me to join in," muttered Hohhe.

Honey smiled shyly.

Struggling to her feet, Fumu muttered, "Sorry," and led her wayward brother away by the ear.

"Oww! Stop it! That hurts!"

"Look," murmured Fumu, leading him up the raod that lead away from the town, "if you need to get it off your chest that badly then I know exactly who to go to."


	2. Guilt Trip: PT 2

Sam and Alex here; again to inform you that we HAVE updated. We are so proud of ourselves that we have once again fallen back into the regular routine of updating our documents with at least 10,000 words at a time. Anything else for us we would consider _un_natural, or just plain weird.

Yay for us.

Please enjoy.

* * *

Tokkori stared raptly at his TV set. The screen fuzzed and zigzagged in black-and-white vision, and it was emitting an odd scratching noise.

"A little more to the left!" Tokkori yelled up at the ceiling.

On the roof, Kirby stood on the tips of his feet, carrying the TV's satellite dish precariously. He wobbled slightly as he kept misjudging his step and sliding on the uneven dome-shaped roof.

"Okay, just move a little more to the righ—shit! Now we lost the signal entirely! Okay, try going forward. Now...stop!"

The screen flickered to life with a clear picture of fuzzy black dots chucking a football back and forth between them. Tokkori let out a cry of delight.

"The game's on! The game's on! You _are_ useful after all. What are you waiting around for, Kirby? Come and watch the game!"

Tokkori turned his head around and let out a squawk. "What did you do?!"

Kirby was dangling outside the window, his foot wrapped around the cable with the satellite dish still in his left hand. Kirby blinked.

"Poyo?" He squirmed uncomfortably and frowned. "Poyopo!"

Tokkori sighed and pressed a button on the remote. The blurs on the screen paused, and he fluttered to the windowsill.

"Bad luck, Pinky," Tokkori mused. "Not much I can do for ya—wait a moment!"

Using his talons, the bird quickly opened the window. "And I'll rotate the screen so that you can see, too!"

Tokkori beamed very proudly, and Kirby let out a delighted cry. After readjusting the position of the TV, Tokkori fluttered back to Kirby's side with a hotdog. "Open up!"

Kirby obediently smacked open his fathomless mouth, and the lime green bird chucked the hotdog in. Kirby smiled and blinked cheerfully.

Tokkori smirked. "And people say that I'm selfish," he sneered, readjusting his perch on the windowsill.

"That's because you _are_," a new voice corrected Tokkori.

He let out a squawk and jumped so badly that he fell off the windowsill outside. Dazed, stars swam in his vision for a few brief moment. It took Tokkori a second for all three Fumus to merge back into one. The bird pushed himself up on the grass and glared at her and her brother.

"Does that mean you get to punish me by taking ten years off my life? Birds are short-lived animals, you know."

"You look in good health to me," Fumu corrected him while untying Kirby.

"H-Hey," stammered Tokkori, "wait, you're going to ruin the picture!"

Too late, Kirby and the satellite dish crashed onto the grass. Inside their house the screen crackled and the football channel was replaced by a rainbow and black bar, with the word "ERROR" written across the screen.

"Hey, the Rainbow Channel!" cried Tokkori delightedly, hopping to his feet. "I haven't gotten that one in a while. Normally it's the program where they're filming snow fall. Or are they ants? Bah, I can never tell, so it doesn't matter. Anyway, what do you two want?"

Bun patted Kirby on the head before facing the tiny bird. "You should be nicer to us."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Because," said Fumu sweetly, "we were going to tell you about"—she lowered her voice mysteriously—"the buffet."

"Buffet?" Slot machine **7**'s, replaced by the image of dinner platters, flashed briefly in his eyes. "H-Hey, now, let's not get so threatening. I can be nice," Tokkori vowed, "if you'll tell me where to go. Please?"

"The adults are having a small picnic at the edge of Whispy Woods. Everyone's invited."

Tokkori beat his wings madly and fluttered in front of their faces. "Thanks!" he chirped, and without further adu blitzed off.

Kirby made to follow and was gently held back by Fumu.

"Poyo! Poyo!" cried Kirby desperately.

"I know, I know, you want the food," soothed Fumu knowingly. "We'll get you something for you to eat later. I'm sorry, Kirby, but there is no buffet."

Kirby frowned. "Poyo?" he asked them, sitting on the grass more comfortably.

Bun leaned against the wall of the house. "To be honest, we just needed an excuse to shoo Tokkori away for a bit. We need to talk to you."

Kirby tilted his head. "Poy?" he repeated, blinking innocently at them.

Fumu swallowed, and nervously faced Kirby. "Well, it's not as much as life-threatening as we need a friend to turn to; someone who wouldn't turn us in."

"Or _can't_, for that matter," Bun added brightly. "Seeing as your vocabulary is thankfully limited, we can repeat this to you without worrying that you'll tell someone else."

"And we trust you," Fumu said kindly. She gave Kirby a long look. "You can keep a secret, right, Kirby?"

Kirby nodded rapidly and saluted them.

"Excellent!" they cried in unison, and bent closer to Kirby.

Kirby inched forward to hear them more clearly. "Poyo!" he declared, as if bracing himself.

"We, er, accidentally killed Dedede and Escargon this morning," explained Bun awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. He grinned nervously. "See why we can't tell anyone?"

Kirby still looked mystified.

"He doesn't get it," Fumu sighed. "Kirby"—she chose her words carefully—"they're no longer a threat to you—which is great!—or would be, had it been under different circumstances. They're dead."

"Poyo." Kirby blinked again and glanced slowly from Fumu to Bun, as if absorbing the idea. At last Kirby hopped to his feet and let out a delighted cry. "Poyo!"

"No," Bun corrected him tersely. "That's a bad thing. We _murdered_ them, so we'd get in trouble if you told. Got it?"

Kirby stopped cheering and looked suddenly quiet. At last the Star Warrior nodded.

Fumu and Bun both let out long, relieved breaths.

"Feeling better now?" Fumu questioned her brother. Bun nodded.

"Am I ever! Still, it wouldn't hurt to be careful. Hey, Kirby," he turned toward their friend, "up for grabbing a bite to eat?"

At the mention of the word "eat" Kirby began to jump up and down ecstatically.

"Poyo! Poyo! Poy!"

And so the trio set off once more. Unknown to them, in the dense foliage of the single tree that grew beside the dome-shaped house, Coo watched them go with a grim expression. The owl ruffled his purple feathers, then silently beat his wings and went airborne.

* * *

Back at the castle, Fumu, Bun and Kirby walked down a stretch of hallway. They were discussing the possibilities of lunch.

"So what shall we eat?" Bun was asking them casually.

"Suika!" Kirby declared, swiping his tongue over his mouth in anticipation.

Fumu and Bun both let out a tiny laugh.

"Of course you'd want a watermelon," snorted Fumu in amusement. "Typical you, Kirby." She cuffed him playfully across the head. "We could probably slip down to the kitchen—"

The two rounded the corridor with Kirby just behind them, and they fell back from the collision.

Bun looked up and gave a bad-tempered growl. "Hey, watch where you're goi—" He stop midspeech when he realized whom he was talking to. "Oh. Hi, Sword. Hi, Blade."

The two knights picked themselves up off the floor and turned to face them. "You'd think this would stop happening to us after living here for so long," Blade complained, dusting himself off.

Brother and sister jumped to their feet. Kirby trotted up from behind them and let out a cry of happiness.

"Oh?" Sword recognized who they'd walked into. "Good afternoon, Fumu, Bun, Kirby."

"You guys okay?" Fumu asked sheepishly.

The two knights shrugged indifferently. "It's not as if we were going to break something," Blade pointed out mildly.

"Or die," tacked on Sword sarcastically.

Bun and Fumu gulped, and Kirby blinked.

Sword registered the gesture but said nothing other than, "Actually, we were just looking around for—well, it doesn't matter. Have you three seen King Dedede or Escargon? No one has seen him since yesterday."

Fumu swallowed. "O-Of course not!" she replied rather quickly. "Nope. Haven't seen him."

"Sorry, but we can't help ya."

"Wish we could—"

"—but we can't."

"We'll keep an eye out for him!"

"But please don't ask us again."

The last remark came from Bun, who hastily bit his tongue to keep himself from saying another word. Fumu side-stepped in front of her brother and grabbed him by the hand with an ironlike grip. Hastily muttering, "Good-bye!" she snatched Kirby by the other hand and dragged them both down the hallway as fast as she could.

Sword and Blade watched them go before swapping anxious glances.

"Did you just see—?" Blade asked stupidly.

"Yes." Sword glanced down the hallway where the trio had vanished to and sighed. "Those three are always getting up to something."

Blade began to pick up their earlier pace. "Come on," he called back to Sword, "let's go report to Meta Knight just as we had planned to. Perhaps he'll know what's up."

* * *

At the end of the winding, spiraling staircase they could see Meta Knight perched atop the ledge of the balcony. This vantage point offered the three knights a lookout in times of need—or a nice view when they felt like it.

A chilly breeze tugged at Meta Knight's cape, but he didn't react. His back was to them and Sword and Blade crept up the last four steps.

Sword opened his mouth to announce their presence when Meta Knight cut across them. "What do you have to report?"

"Does he have eyes in the back of his head?" Blade hissed out of the corner of his mouth. He started when Meta Knight added dryly, "I can hear across rooms, too."

There was the faintest trace of laughter in his scolding. Blade and Sword shrugged and took a few steps forward.

"No news," Blade replied, bowing respectfully.

Meta Knight gazed out at the unfolding landscape before them. "Is that so? How odd. The king hasn't been gone all that long, but already rumors have spread of ill-health and disappearances. It won't take much for everyone to panic."

"Sir?" Sword asked him nervously.

Blade shrugged. "The castle is huge, though, and there's always some unexplored catacomb in this place. For all we know, they're just trying to stir up trouble; that, or we've been in the wrong places at the wrong times."

Meta Knight shook his head slightly. "Not likely. There are over a thousand guards here—how could they hide? And we know every hidden passage way," he added, turning around to face them. "We had His Majesty's castle checked out the very day after our arrival, remember? Where else could we find have found a suitable area to store—?" The Star Warrior cut himself off. "It was a good theory, though."

Sword added hesitantly, "Meta Knight, there's something else you ought to know."

"And what would that be?" he asked curiously.

"It's not very important, but on the way here we saw Kirby, Bun and Fumu. They were acting...odd."

"_Suspicious_ is more like it," Blade pointed out. "And some of the villagers noted how peculiar they had been behaving, too."

Meta Knight's eyes shone the briefest green. "Hm. We should keep an eye on them, but in the end, they're trustworthy kids." Meta Knight thought he saw Blade and Sword swap a significant look, but it was too quick to be sure. _What are they thinking?_ "We should devote most of our time now to our search. In a few day's time, if nothing happens, then I suppose that we must start asking around again. But by then, hopefully Escargon and Dedede will be back."

There was contempt in Meta Knight's voice when he mentioned their names; as much as he played the role of "loyal servant" and "spy" to the king, he shared many peoples' loathing for them.

"I'll see you later, then. Take care."

Sword and Blade nodded and added their own good-byes before leaving.

Sword let out an amused snort. "Remember the last time he said that they were 'trustworthy'?"

"Will I ever forget?" laughed Blade, and they carried on down the spiral staircase.

* * *

Three days later and there was still no news about Dedede or Escargon. The Cappies weren't too worried about them—as Gus had said, "Hey, at least we can get on peacefully now with our lives"—yet not everyone was satisfied with their unexplained lack of trouble making.

It got to the point that when Blade and Sword hadn't even reached the top step of the spire, Meta Knight declared, "You're right—we need to ask Kirby, Fumu and Bun if they know anything."

"How do you do that?" Sword gawked. "What are you, a mind-reader?"

Blade crossed his arms. "We hadn't even gotten to the top yet and still you heard us."

Meta Knight turned around with an amused chuckle. "After years of practice it comes easily. Almost naturally, like a sixth sense. Come on," he ordered, jumping down and brushing past them.

Sword and Blade said at the same time, "Yes, Sir!" and bounded after their master.

On the way down Blade question him uncertainly. "Meta Knight? How do we speak to them without giving ourselves away?"

"Leave that," Meta Knight called over his shoulder, "to _me_."

* * *

"And I'm telling you that Kirby cannot swallow something as big as the castle and still look that tiny!"

Bun, Lololo and Lalala were debating passionately over Kirby's stomach capacity, while said pink puffball was chasing a butterfly back and forth.

Between the three sat a Monopoly game. A little ways off, Fumu was hunched against the roots of her favorite beech tree. Every now and then she'd look up from her five hundred and ten page book, _Courtal Combat: How to Win Your Case _to see how the others were doing.

From the looks of it, Lalala was winning. Even thought she was a bit shyer than Lololo, when it came to games Lalala was a name to fear. She was a game tycoon who was dominating half the board with the most lots and cash. Bun made a lousy second, with Lololo just behind him.

"I mean, how could he? He'd inflate like a balloon," Bun was arguing. He rolled the die. "Anyway, remember when Dedede bought all of those potato chips and Kirby got fat?"

"But those were calories," Lololo pointed out, "not consumption amount. Hah!" he cheered, as Bun rolled a two. "You're on my lot, so fork over two hundred."

Scowling, Bun passed Lololo the money. "This sucks," he grumbled. "At this rate I'll be broke, and then I'll have to sell Lalala the rest of the railroad lots. Hey, Sis," he yelled to Fumu, "are you going to join us or what? You're the brains—at this rate your brother is going to go broke! Help me!"

Fumu looked up from creasing another page. "I'm busy," she snapped testily, flashing the book title at him.

Bun sweat-dropped. "Oops... sorry."

Lololo signaled for a time out. "Hang on," he told Lalala, "I want a quick word with Bun."

Bun perked up. "About what?"

Lololo beckoned for him to follow, and they quickly paused their game and crept a few yards off. Lalala waited until they couldn't see her, before quickly plucking a few cards out of her own hand and placing them inconspicuously into Bun's and Lololo's.

Fumu looked up in time and caught the transaction. "Is that how you've been winning?" she asked sharply. "By cheating?"

"Oh, no," Lalala replied sweetly. "I'm just giving them a few of my own lots. That way, when I chip in for a few hotels next round and raise the taxes, they'll be forced to unknowingly sell me back my lots. I'll have more properties while they collect the money."

"So it would seem that you're helping them? Then why...?"

"Nope. You see, when they see the extra cards it'll make them _think_ that they have a chance at winning—before I crush them. I'll have control of more than eighty percent of the board by then. The bigger their downfall, the greater my victory," Lalala explained quite shamelessly.

Fumu couldn't help but grin. "How astute of you," she teased, before burying her nose back into her book.

Meanwhile, Bun and Lololo were talking in hushed, serious voices.

"As I was saying," Lololo whispered, "once you sell me your railroads I'll gain the additional tax boost of having all four train lots. Then I'll sell you my Waterworks card, and we can tax Lalala until she's in bankruptcy and has to go to jail for three turns. Together, we can collect the rest of her lots and stockpile our sums—she won't stand a chance!"

Bun grinned. "There's a reason why you and I are friends," he joked in a low voice. "Lalala is in for a big surprise."

Lololo punched the air. "We're going to win for sure!" he declared quietly.

"Why are we whispering?" asked a new voice.

Lololo glanced to his left at the newcomer. "Because we're trying to plot, if you don't—don't...mind." He trailed off when he realized that the speaker was Blade.

Blade raised a hand in greeting. "I'm so sorry to have interrupted your scheming," he said sardonically. "Please, carry on."

"Blade?" Fumu quickly stashed her book into a nearby bush to hide it. "What are y-you doing here?"

Blade waved. "Sword asked if you wouldn't mind helping us with something."

Kirby, who had managed to pounce on the butterfly, released it and watch it fly off. He looked up and let out a cry of delight at the sight of Blade. "Poyo!"

"I'm glad to see you too, Kirby. Anyway, so you five think you can spare a few minutes to help out?" he asked politely.

The four of them swapped a look before nodding. Fumu and Bun tried to push away their suspicions and add their own agreement.

"What do you need us for, anyway?" Bun asked.

Blade avoided answering directly by beginning to head off toward the castle doors. "We're heading up to the library."

* * *

The group of six padded into the library to see Sword flipping through the pages of a rather old book. Hearing them approach, the other knight looked up and greeted them warmly.

"Thanks for coming. We just need to locate a few things—research, you know. Meta Knight is worried that Dedede and Escargon's disappearances might be linked with Nightmare. But considering they're _customers_ of him, we can't think of any reason why they'd want to hurt them both, unless they're trying to lure Kirby into a trap, or collect unpaid bills." Sword shrugged. "That's what we need you to help us with."

Bun and Fumu swapped guilty looks and tried to feign innocence. Kirby cheered.

"Sure," Lololo responded absently. "What can we do for you?"

"We need to compile several piles of books for research. Fumu," Sword turned to face her, "you know this place rather well, so it wouldn't hurt if you helped us look, would it?"

"Not at all." Fumu gave him a long look. Shaking off her suspicions, she managed to ask, "What first?"

"Can you go through that pile over there?" Sword pointed toward a stack on one of the tables. "Just pluck out anything that doesn't belong. Meanwhile, the rest of you can help me take these off the shelf..."

While he spoke Blade handed Fumu a list. "The category not needed in there that we unfortunately mixed in was animal biology. Mind removing them?"

"Nope." Glad to be able to distract herself from thoughts of Dedede and Escargon, she hurriedly began sorting through the pile.

Kirby held up a brown book and waved it wildly. "Poyo?"

"Yeah, good job, Kirby." Sword took the book from him and began another neat stack.

Lalala plucked the book off of the pile and read the cover. "_Famous Court Cases and Other Thrilling Trials_," she recited aloud.

"Hey, Sword?" Lololo called over to him. "The serial number for a book is missing: 0588. Which one is that?"

"Huh." Sword quickly scanned a nearby list. "Dang. Meta Knight won't be very happy; he requested that one specifically. It's called, _Courtal Combat: How to Win Your Case_. One of the Waddle Dees must have checked it out, though I didn't know that any of them could read..."

_Crash!_ The entire stack Fumu had picked up slipped out her hands in shock. She'd checked that book out only that very morning—why should Meta Knight have wanted _that_ specific book? She stared at the books at her feet. "S-Sorry." Kneeling down quickly, Fumu gathered them in her arms, trying to hide the horrified look in her eyes. It was while she was recollecting the volumes that she noticed an animal book she had previously missed: _Birds of Popstar_. A bookmark jutted out from between two pages.

Curious, she flipped open the page._ It was a penguin._

The skin along Fumu's arms began to crawl.

"Poyo?" Kirby tapped her on the back. Without waiting for an answer he took the book from Fumu and carried it to Blade over his head. "Poyo!"

"Thanks, Kirby," Blade thanked him. "Be more careful next time, Fumu!"

And so their work carried out like that, retracing the location of different books that needed harvesting, mainly on geography, politics and law. Fumu noticed Bun would pause, then would start working again every time he came across a book related to murder trails. Several minutes after Fumu had found _Birds of Popstar_ did she stumble across another book she hadn't noticed previously. This time there was a hot pink bookmark. The title read: _Invertebrates: From Land to Sea._

_Suppose you find—?_ Fumu nervously pried open the pages to find a documentary on snails. In particular there was a single paragraph highlighted, and grudgingly she forced herself to read it:

_Snails have lived on Popstar for millions of years. Many different kinds exist on land and below the oceans across the planet and have benefit life in many ways—in particular, certain cultures have actually now adapted a useful technique off raising and killing these creatures to use them in many ways for the prosperity of their culture. Some people though think that these creatures are a nuisance and over the years have slaughtered them for no good reason. What shameful ignorance._

Fumu shivered violently. That was enough for her. Thoughts of the incident three days previously flashed through her memories, and she flinched. Fumu hastily shoved it back on the shelf and prepared to catch Bun's eye, when she noticed that he'd also stopped working. There was a red book with a velvet cover in his left hand, while he clung to a sliding stepladder with his other hand.

"Is this the one?" There was a tremor in his voice as he addressed Blade.

The knight nodded. "Yep," he replied almost cheerily. "I only read it once, but it was pretty good."

"About what?" Lololo's voice was muffled by a stack of towering books he was carrying.

Blade pulled up a chair. The others stopped and turned to face him. "It's about the murder of an aristocratic family. The detective and his plucky sidekick, Shamrock Olmes and Chotson, have to protect the last known member of the Askervale family from a murderer and his demon beast from the fiery pits of hell—the Hound of the Askervales."

Bun lost his grip on the ladder and waved his arms wildly; a moment later he toppled on top Kirby, sending up a huge crash that sent books flying across the room. Like a domino effect, the stacks already neatly arranged began to fall over.

A dust cloud went up; when it cleared, they could see a huge pile. Kirby stuck his head out and rubbed a bruise on his pink forehead. "Poyo."

Bun dragged himself out a second later and grumbled. "Not fun. Huh?" He had just noticed the mess he'd made. "Oops..."

Fumu spotted danger long before the others did. Sensing the realization crossing Sword and Blade's minds like shafts of sunlight, she made a beeline for her brother. She had to make up an excuse, and fast.

"I just remembered! We have to—to—to go iron the cat!"

Lalala's left eye twitched. "To iron..."

"...the cat?" Lololo finished her, sounding disbelieving.

Bun grimaced as Fumu dragged him out of the pile of books. "But, sis," he gasped, "we don't _have_ a cat! And who irons a cat, anyway?"

"_We_ do. Remember Fluffy? Persians have all that long fur. You don't want her to look all rumpled and unkempt again, do you?" There was a note of hysteria in her wild excuse.

"If she's that matted then why don't we send her to the dry cleaner's? And I thought that Dad was allergic to cats and other animals like them?" Bun didn't seem to be catching on.

"That's why _we_ have to iron Fluffy!" objected Fumu, beckoning frantically to Kirby.

The pink Star Warrior sensed her urgency and bounded over, a book hoisted over his head. Fumu caught the title of the book and froze.

_Guilty When Spotted_, it said.

"Give me that!" she snapped, swiping it and tossing it back onto the disheveled pile. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Blade advance, his hand groping for the hilt of his sword.

"Run!" Fumu commanded, "now! We have to leave!" Without explaining herself she dragged Bun out by the arm, muttering incoherent curses under her ragged breathing. Kirby bounced after them with a cry of distress.

"Kaabii! Kaabii!" he called after them, dashing out of sight.

Blade tensed and prepared to take flight after them; only Sword's last-minute grab on his shoulder stopped any signs of pursuit.

"Wait!" his companion abashed him, hands held akimbo. "If we chase after them then we'll be only driving them farther away from us! If they are responsible then we want them to turn themselves over without a fight. _Look_ at me, Blade: Would you ever be bold enough to lay a hand on those kids?"

Under Sword's quelling look Blade grumbled. "No, I could never hurt any of them. And we got what we wanted. And now...they've fled."

Sword sighed and released Blade. "All hope that's left now rests with Sir Meta Knight. We should go to him and form a plan of action there—"

Sword's voice died in his throat when he realized that Lololo and Lalala still floated in a standstill nary six feet away. The looks on their faces made you think of those American Express Card commercials where the narrator guy always declared at the end, "Blah blah blah: Priceless."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Lalala raged angrily, swooping in front of them with a pronounced glare.

Lololo joined her at her side, giving the two knights the evil eye. "If you ever laid a hand on them—"

"—then you'll have to go through us first," declared Lalala quietly.

Sword and Blade exchanged nervous looks. "Our orders were to interrogate and extract information, not to pursue and capture," Blade informed them.

"And certainly never to harm any of the three," added Sword ruefully.

Lololo cut across his reply with a rude, "Orders from _whom_?"

The knights faced each other with difficult, hidden expressions on their faces. They volleyed the situation between them in an undertone.

"They know too much," Blade murmured.

Sword nodded in agreement. "Yes. We have no choice but to take them now."

Lalala stiffened. "I don't like where this conversation is going. See ya!" And she turned and began to hastily hover toward the door.

Sword reacted with lightning-like reflexes and sprang into the air, clasping her between his outstretched hands.

"Hey," Lololo yelped, "let her go!" He pelted toward Lalala, only to be stopped midflight as Blade captured the second of the two. A grim look shadowed his metal helmet as the warrior turned toward the library door with his prisoner.

"Keep quiet and don't say a word, either of you. We're going to Sir Meta Knight now. Sword, follow me!"

* * *

In Meta Knight's gloved hand was a beaker of a clear liquid that shone in the harsh yellow light from the lamp overhead. The swords master carried it cautiously toward a desk cleared of anything useless to his research and experimentation. There was an eyedropper, several beakers and test tubes that fizzed and frothed, and a bowl filled with... lemons.

In his travels the Star Warrior had acquired a vast array of knowledge from across the widespread corners of the galaxy, and he was currently applying a neat trick learned from a nomadic tribe on a distant planet.

Using lemon juice, it helped render any invisible prints, marks or faded ink visible under a certain lighting. Meta Knight thought that it might due him some good now if they were to search for any traces of Dedede or Escargon.

Cautiously, he held a mixture of chemicals in one beaker over the lemon juice-filled tube. He had to be careful; if spilled improperly, the chemical—thought not potentially dangerous—might burn his skin. And it was the only shot that he had left in his stores; if wasted, a large advantage in their search would be ruined.

With great care he tipped the other beaker down, the chemical inside beginning to dribble down the glass sides of the beaker and pour into the other tube—

_Bang!_

The door to his room slammed open, and—startled—Meta Knight felt the glass tubes slip from his grasp. He watched as they fell toward the ground, skittering droplets everywhere, and crashed at his feet.

Meta Knight whipped around and glared at Blade and Sword. "Good job," he commented wryly. "That could have helped us and you two have the _sense_ to _barge_ in here and—" His rant dropped several octaves, and he was forced to ask with mild curiosity, "Do I want to know _why_ you brought those two along?"

Blade and Sword each carried one of the two. Lalala and Lololo stared back defiantly, grasped in silence and unable to talk.

Sword looked awkward. "Er."

"And what, may I ask, is 'er'?"

Blade gave a nervous laugh. "The library incident was like a train wreck. The kids caught on and fled with Kirby, and then Lololo and Lalala overheard us talking. We had no choice but to bring them."

Meta Knight's interest sharpened. "Close the door," he ordered Sword softly, looking concerned.

One-handed, Sword complied and clicked the door shut, locking it for extra measure.

"And let them go. There's no reason to act like barbaric savages. They have a right to know," Meta Knight added in mundane disapproval.

Quickly his two followers released their captives. Lololo flitted into the air and gasped, while Lalala hovered beside him. They gave the three knights looks that were half scared, half indignant.

"Why did you kidnap us?" Lalala demanded.

Sword gave a bitter laugh. "We didn't kidnap you—that's what Dedede and Escargon do. You two just happened to come here without a choice."

Lololo bristled. "And is that supposed to make us feel better?" he spat.

Meta Knight raised a hand for silence. Waiting until the two's griping became discontent mutters, he explained, "I'm sorry for the rough treatment, but you have to know. After the king's and Escargon-dono's disappearances three days ago there's been rumors and some mderate panic from the villagers. They're worried that it could be a string of kidnapping that will eventually affect them. So we resigned ourselves to finding out what became of them, and our suspicions led us to believe, regretfully, that your friends might know something about it."

Stunned silence greeted his revelation. Lalala's eyes widened. "Surely you don't think that Fumu, Bun or Kirby did this?" she gasped.

"We don't know what to think. They could have witnessed, partaken, or not have noticed anything at all," Sword explained as calmly as he could. "That's why we need to find them without driving them away from us."

"And the scene in the library?" Lololo prompted. "That was all a test?"

"Indeed," Meta Knight answered gravely. "When Fumu checked out that law book I was slightly worried, and I ordered Blade and Sword to have them alphabetize a collection of law and famous murder case literature and see if it prompted any reactions out of them. We also had two decoy books placed in a stack I wanted Fumu to go through, to see if she noticed our little 'bookmarks.'" He turned to Sword and Blade. "You said that it went badly?"

"It was disastrous. They ran like hell was on their heels, and jumped at nearly every single book they read. Better yet," Sword mused, "Bun crashed half the library. Those Waddle Dees will be breaking their backs trying to clean up the mess that he made—even if it was an accident."

Lololo and Lalala exchanged worried looks. "Suppose that...you are right, that they did have something to do with Dedede and Escargon's disappearance," Lalala began. "What will happen to them?"

Meta Knight hesitated; instead of directly replying, he knelt to scoop up the fragmented glass scattered across his carpeted floor. Once finished with the relatively quick task, the Star Warrior deposited the scraps into a trash bin before facing his subordinates. "Do you know where the kids went?"

"Kirby's, I reckon," said Sword, looking awake and alert.

Their head honcho gave a single, swift nod. "Hmph. Then it's there we proceed. Lololo—Lalala—stay behind. Sword, Blade, come with me immediately."

"Wait!" cried Lololo, causing Meta Knight to pause in the now-open doorway with his back and cape to them. "What are you going to do? You're not going to hurt them, are you? What if they're innocent?"

"That's a big _if_," Blade pointed out tersely, taking a step after Meta Knight. Sword motioned toward the door.

"...Meta Knight?" pleaded Lalala despairingly.

The Star Warrior didn't move for several seconds; wraithlike and unfathomable, he let the seconds lengthen before turning around to face them. His eyes smoldered briefest red, and he spoke ominously.

"That depends on the circumstances, dear. I abide the law; I'll do what I must."

With a whisk of his cape he left, Sword and Blade dogging his heels. Sword brought the door behind him and slammed it shut. The twins heard a sharp click.

Lololo rocketed forward and rammed into the door, grabbing at the doorknob and twisting it violently. To no avail, it didn't budge. "No! We're locked in here!"

"What do we do? What do we do?" Lalala panicked as she floated next to her brother. Side by side, they hovered in front of the door uncertainly, pondering their predicament.

"How do we warn them?" Lololo wondered.

Forlornly, Lalala shook her head. "We don't. We're as trapped as they are now. We can only wait, and pray that they don't run into Mete Knight either..."

* * *

"...and whatever you do," Fumu whispered over her shoulder, as she, Bun, and Kirby scaled the rocky path, "don't say specifics. Even if Kabu does know what's going on around here more often than he lets on, he can't possibly guess that it was us."

"This cockamamie idea of yours is doomed," Bun predicted.

Fumu scoffed as she snapped a reply over her shoulder, "It's not like you've exactly come up with anything so far."

Together the trio pushed through the dense subtropic foliage, brushing aside ferns and brambles that barred their path. Sheer canyon walls rose in silent vigil on either side, giving the shadowed valley a foreboding aura.

Kirby picked up a twig and brandished it like a sword, jabbing it in the air. "Poyo! Poyo poy—" Seeing that his antics didn't manage to crack a smile on either of their faces, Kirby frowned glumly and tossed his stick aside. Shoulders slumped, the minute Star Warrior pluckily dragged his feet in the dirt. Long skid marks followed the three as they approached the shine in wary procession, gazing up at the towering totem: Kabu.

Gulping, Fumu stepped forward. "Kabu?"

The ancient statue emitted a deep bass note from the depths of his cavernous mouth. "The Great Kabu is awake. What is it you seek?"

"The village is in turmoil. _No one _has seen Dedede or Escargon," lied Fumu, wiping her brow to remove a trickle of beaded sweat. "Have you?"

"Yeah," Bun chipped in. "Do you have any idea where they could possibly be?"

The totem contemplated the answer for several moments; at long last, he responded in a booming octave, "Kabu knows the answers to your questions. The two are resting beneath treacherous waters."

"_Resting_?" Bun repeated nervously. Out of the corner of his mouth, the bowl-cut kid added, "Do ya think he meant 'in peace'?"

"I don't know," she whispered back. Fumu _harrumphed_ in her throat. "Would you mind elaborating?" she asked Kabu.

"Poyo," Kirby whispered, taking a few extra steps forward.

"They are in a place that none would have imagined existed," rumbled Kabu. "It is a hidden place, veiled by a cataract and deep below the earth, where His Majesty and his loyal companion await judgment and rescue. They are helpless, and do not understand why they have been sent there."

Kirby, Bun and Fumu gulped. It couldn't have been plainer, even if Kabu had spoken in a foreign language. _Dedede and Escargon were in the fiery pits of hell__. _(Oh noes._)  
_

"Well," stuttered Bun, "I g-guess they had it c-coming... Right?"

"There is a way to retrieve them."

Kabu's sudden animation caused the trio to jump in unison.

The totem boomed, "If those guilty wish to fix their errors and desire redemption, they need only return to the spot where it all began. There is a way...look in the place you would last expect...and bring unexpected help, for it is sorely needed..."

"Help! Help!" Kirby echoed delightedly, skipping in small circles around Bun and Fumu. Fumu reached out a hand and caught Kirby as he did another lap, forcing him to stop for a moment.

"Hold on, Kirby," she whispered. More loudly, Fumu called up, "We don't understand, Kabu. 'Those guilty'? 'Help'? Can you tell us more?"

Like thunder, Kabu's deep voice filled the canyon with a maelstrom of echos that ricocheted off the stone walls. "Ask whom you would last ask help of..." His voice grew feebler, weaker. "Kabu is all-knowing."

Bun inched behind his sister. "You don't suppose he knows, do you? He said "guilty," sis."

"That's a good question," replied Fumu. "Kabu!" she called.

No response came from the wooden totem, for once more he had lapsed into a silent trance, waiting to be summoned.

"Poyo!" Kirby cried, walking up to the base of Kabu and prodding him with his right arm.

"He went back to sleep." Bun sounded disappointed and relieved at the same time. "Well, guess we better take his advice. Who do you suppose he meant? You're the smart one."

"I don't know," groaned Fumu, massaging her temples. "I don't know..."

Bun looked up, noticing that Kirby had returned with his Warpstar tucked under his left arm. "Later, Kirby. You can go put that back where you found it. There aren't any demon beasts to fight. Thankfully, that's one of the benefits of not having Dedede around."

As if a lightbulb had clicked on over Fumu's head, the girl put two and two together. And the answer wasn't very pretty. "No," Fumu bleated, shaking her head despondently, "no, he couldn't have meant _him_..."

"Poyo?" Kirby asked, setting his vehicle on the ground at Fumu's feet.

"Yeah, what are you talking about? It can't be that bad, can it?" Bun inquired anxiously.

"It can," Fumu snapped. With her hands she wrung a stray lock of hair out of stress. Barely in a whisper, the girl stated, "I know exactly who Kabu meant. He wants us to seek out help from Nightmare."

* * *

The sun was at it the height of its arch over the castle, shining relentlessly across the courtyards, spires, and brick walls. Short shadows were cast, making it very difficult for an inconspicuous figure in a long, black trench coat and hat to conceal itself.

The figure pressed its back to a wall, peeking around the corner to watch as several spear-carrying Waddle Dee passed by. Once gone, the figure lowered its head toward its waistline and growled softly, in a feminine voice, "Watch where you're going!"

Surprisingly, another voice answered from around the midriff, "I can barely see through the jacket! You're the eyes in this getup, now _look_ and tell me where to _walk_, Fumu!"

"Poyo!" came a muffled squeak inside the jacket.

"Shut up, Kirby," brother and sister chorused in unison.

Fumu gave a snort before muttering, "March forward ten steps, make a right," and wavered slightly as she momentarily lost her balance atop Kirby's "shoulders." As Bun began to move down the corner he snarled, "I can't believe I let you convince me into doing this! This could end badly on so many levels if we're caught; not forgetting to mention that this disguise is as cheap as they come! You may as well have sent Kirby as a delivery boy asking Nightmare if he wants anchovies on his pizza!"

In a strained tone, Fumu berated him, "It was the only thing I could think of! We need Nightmare's help, so stop talking and make a left here..."

Several agonizing minutes later of Bun's ranting, and they found themselves outside of the throne room door. Having somehow managed to sneak past the hordes of Waddle Dees, they considered themselves spared by the merciful writers of this fanfiction. Or so they thought, anyway. But whom are we to judge insanity?

Stealthily, Fumu raised a hand, deftly swung the door open, and slid between the crack into the velvet-floored throne room. It was as gaudy as its occupant, overly-lavish and blindingly red-orange in color.

"Now walk forward—" Fumu began to order Bun, only to stop midspeech as Kirby made a sudden jerking movement. "Stop squirming, please! You nearly knocked me over!"

"Hang on, Fumu, I'll get us over to his throne," Bun whispered. He skidded across the floor, and the figure wavered awkwardly as they struggled to approach the armchair.

"Now," Fumu murmured aloud, scanning the throne, "where is that cursed button—oh, wait, here we go."

_Click._

Darkness enveloped the room; the interior morphed before her bewildered eyes. Rising out of the center of the floor was an electronic warp panel, complete with a delivery system, information monitor, metal cords and wires, the whole kit and caboodle. A revolving TV flared out of the wall the left of the thrown-like-chair. As a whole they shuffled to the left in time to see Customer Service's face flicker to life across the screen.

"Welcome to Holy Nightmare Enterprise, Your Maj—Maj—hey. You're not His Majesty." For once his façade was unguarded, left plain and dumbstruck by the sudden disappearance of his "favorite" clients (pinheads), and the appearance of a clothed stranger in black.

He scratched his forehead once, then forced a beaming grin. "Why, _hello_ there! How may I help you, sir? And where, may I ask, is Dedede and Escargon-san?"

"Sir?" the figure (Fumu) vocalized, thrusting her hands onto her hips. "_Sir?_"

Customer Service threw his hands up in a kidding gesture. "Miss—or is it Mrs.?—well, no matter; I'm terribly sorry for the slip-up. I'm gender-confused, you see." He gave a hearty chuckle, followed by a faux grin.

"It happens all the time," replied Fumu in what she hoped was her best impersonation of an airy, adolescent voice. "In regard to the, er, "absence" of His Majesty and His Excellency, he has been busy for several days and asked that I come in his place to order a demon beast."

"Ho!—ho!—ho! A business trip, eh? Well, now that's remarkable. A Waddle Dee waddles more than King Dedede does in one sitting and standing. But putting that aside, I am inclined to inform you that I only do direct business with His Majesty. Good day."

"Wait—!" Bun began to cry out. Fumu froze; springing into action, she hastily covered up her brother's lapse with a mild cough. Kirby stomped once on Bun's head in warning, and Bun retaliated with a fierce pinch to Kirby's back.

Trying to ignore the civil war taking place in her jacket, Fumu addressed Customer Service hastily, "Now, now, no need to rush things! His Majesty was willing to pay up front, but if you'd rather not do business, I can easily return _this_."

Carefully, she reached into an outside coat pocket and took out a leather bag filled to the brim and tied neatly at the top in a bowstring. At the sight of the parcel, Customer Service's eyes widened, and he removed his outstretched hand away from the "off" button on his end.

"Well, this advent certainly changes things. This is quite out of character for King Dedede, but generous and appreciated nonetheless. Tell me, miss, what is it that he requires for purchase?" Customer Service asked with interest, adjusting his superior shades.

Bun (now holding a private slap session with Kirby) whispered up to Fumu, "Tell him we need the best bloody tracker he has at his disposal! We're desperate, so we'll take anything, even a dangerous prototype!"

"Poyo!" Kirby agreed.

"Be quiet!" hissed Fumu into the confines of her trench coat.

Customer Service stuck a finger in his ear and twitched it methodically. "I'm sorry; could you repeat that, miss?"

"Uh..." She sweat-dropped. "I said, uh, that we—I mean, m-me—I! I would like to purchase a tracker for Dedede. Something that can scent odors days old over long distances."

With a frightening grin that ranged from ear-to-ear, Customer Service clasped his hands together and declared, "Why, of course we do! My employer only invests the best into refining demon beasts. Now, any specifics?"

"Yeah, it has to be pretty tame."

Customer Service crossed his arms and tapped his chin thoughtfully. After a minute of contemplation he let out a cheery, "I know just the thing!" More seriously, he tacked on, "May I inquire the nature of the purchase? Surely His Majesty isn't busy looking for lost Cappies? I'd be fairly disappointed if he wasn't preparing to wage war."

The figure chided, "Oh, no, no, no, don't you worry that pretty, million dollar face of yours into ugliness." (Flattery was very important; that, and remaining deceptively sociable while Kirby and Bun raged a private battle underneath her.) "It's actually meant for tracking down Kirby. See, King Dedede wants a demon beast to pass off as nothing more than a lovable pet, while at the same time have a ready bloodhound at his disposal to track down that pink pest. Kirby will be made to _rue_ the day he came to Pupu Village!"

"A little over the top, sis," Bun whispered from inside the trench coat. Kirby nodded once, causing Fumu to nearly lose her balance.

Customer Service smiled. "Now that that's cleared up, I have just the demon beast in mind! A lovely little thing by the name of Sei-an. I'll send him over now. Kindly place the money on the transmitter after your order is sent and the exchange will be complete."

Fumu nodded clumsily. "As you say so." She took a step away from the throne and egged Bun on to walk her toward the transmitter. Blue-white sparks flitted from the glassy surface of the transmitter, and the cables writhed slightly as electrical currents jumped between them. Seconds passed...a minute...and then...

With a blinding flash the room was enveloped with light, then it receded, leaving in its place the most peculiar demon beast that had yet to see.

It was easily four feet tall, and closely resembled an anteater. It had cream purple fur, long and shaggy, with a thick plume of a sweeping tail. A saddle was strapped around its back. Fumu, Bun, and Kirby prepared to utter relieved sighs when Sei-an swished its ropelike muzzle and stretched, revealing tusks protruding from both sides of its mouth.

"Woah," gasped Bun quietly.

Customer Servive's smile became a winning grin. "Allow me to introduce our top standard model, the sleuth of the century, Sei-an! With that long mouth and tongue, coupled with endless stamina and bulk, he makes the perfect tracker! He can cover long distances for hours at a time, and pick up scents that are exceedingly old. All that he requires is a sample of whatever it is that he needs to smell. I even tossed in a saddle for free; Sei-an can also withstand heavy masses and carry large loads, or"—he chuckled, as if imagining King Dedede instead of their disguise—"large people. Or should I say_ penguins_? Ho!—ho!—ho!"

Fumu emitted a lame chuckle to try and match his. "Yeah, uh, that's great..."

"Now," said Customer service, adjusting his shades, "before we wrap up this pleasant exchange I should warn you that—"

"Well, it was a pleasure doing business with ya, but we—I mean, _I_—have to get going! Dedede"—she winced at the sound of his name—"is expecting his order, after all."

Customer Service looked flabbergasted. "Wait! Don't you want to hear the rest of the instructions?" As if to prove his point, he held up a four-inch-thick book to the screen, labeled _Training Your Demon Beast FOR DUMMIES_.

Fumu shook her hands. "No, no, we're absolutely fine! Now, if you'll excuse us—I mean, m-me..." She quickly grabbed the sack filled with money, tossed it onto the transmitter, and pressed the send button on the arm of the chair. She watched as electrical waves surrounded it, fizzed, and with another flash the bag vanished. Quick as lightning, Fumu waved Customer Service goodbye and slammed on the "off" button. The screen went blank, and it left just as it came, sinking back into the wall while the ordering system folded back into the floor.

The process took only a few seconds. Fumu released her pent-up breath she'd been holding, and at once Bun yelled, "Hey, mind letting me out of here? It's getting hot and uncomfortable!"

"Well," sniffed Fumu, as she began to unbutton the coat, "you two could have made it a bit easier by not fighting the entire time."

Kirby's face poked out through the trench coat's front, and the Star Warrior glanced up apologetically at Fumu. "Poyo."

"It's okay," Fumu sighed, "I know you mean well, Kirby."

"Hey!" complained Bun, as he wriggled out from underneath their feet, "what about me! I'm the one who had to carry you two from the village all the way up to the castle. And I could _barely see _under there!"

"Fine, fine! Thanks, Bun." Fumu tried to sound sincere, but in her frustration it was nigh impossible.

Reluctantly, as the three of them clambered off of each other and out of the over-sized trench coat, Sei-an padded up to them. They stiffened instinctively, and Kirby actually placed himself between the siblings and Sei-an, as if to protect them.

Kirby glared at Sei-an.

The giant anteater-like demon beast merely stretched its long muzzle outward and gave Kirby a sloppy kiss, licking him across his face. Kirby let out a cry of indignation and stumbled backward into Fumu and Bun. In unison the two couldn't help but laugh; it was impossible to be intimidated by a demon beast that only wanted to _lick_ its victims to death.

"Ready to go, sis?" Bun asked, swinging himself onto the saddle.

Fumu faltered briefly, pausing only to chide him, "Be careful!" before clambering up behind him, using the stirrup to get a footing.

Kirby didn't budge, however.

"It's okay, Kirby!" Bun called down reassuringly, "he's friendly! And Sei-an is under our control. There's no way he'll turn evil. Just remember Robot Pet, Galbo, and Chilly! They all turned out to be pretty decent, didn't they?"

At the mention of several old friends, Kirby relented—slightly. Though he jumped up onto the saddle and threw his pink arms around Fumu's waist for support, he still looked edgy and uneasy being atop the creature he was meant to be the arch nemesis of. Fumu reached over and patted Kirby on the back.

"Relax, Kirby," she soothed him. To her brother, Fumu directed, "Take Sei-an through the back secret passage ways. And give him this." From her pockets she withdrew Dedede's snowballed hat, an extra she had stolen from the laundry earlier that afternoon.

Bun grudgingly accepted it, holding it at arm's length away from himself. "Yuck! I _hate_ handling Dedede's clothes." With his free hand he pinched the bridge of his nose. "It smells just as badly as he does."

"Which is a compliment," Fumu remarked sarcastically, and Kirby beamed in amusement.

"Poyo! Poyo!"

"What about the guards?" Bun asked, shifting in the saddle as he dangled the hat in front of Sei-an's face. "Take a good whiff, boy, and get a load of this foul stuff! If their bodies, or ghosts, or whatever, are still around, then you should be able to tag 'em."

Sei-an let out a faint trumpeting noise before inhaling deeply. Fumu, meanwhile, replied, "If we stay out of sight and lay low, then we should be safe. For now. We just need to make sure that Sei-an knows to avoid other people. Right, Sei-an?"

The demon beast nodded once.

"Good." Bun sounded relatively pleased. Giving a smug smile, the bowl-cut kid cried, "Giddy up!" and kicked his legs against Sei-an's flanks. The demon beast let out a yelp, reared onto its hind legs, then made a mad dash out of the throne room with three screaming kids atop its back.

* * *

Customer Service watched as his bag containing the paycheck materialized atop the transmitter. With a hearty laugh he plodded over and scooped it up, marveling its weight. "Either His Majesty is paying us in heavy jewels, or there's a lot of money crammed into such a tiny bag."

"Open it." Nightmare's voice rang from the background, once again out of sight.

Customer Service obliged, turning the bag upside down and shaking it vehemently. "I can't wait to see what he gave—us? What? Watermelon seeds!"

Where the alleged currency should have been, tiny blacks seeds cascaded out of the bag onto the metallic tabletop. On top of the foot-high pile was a tiny note with three letters in neat scrawl scribbled across:

I. O. U.

"'I. O. U.'?" Customer Service said aloud. "What is the meaning of this?" Realization suddenly dawned on him. "'I. Owe. You.'"

Outside of their headquarters, in the deepest reaches of space, a loud voice vowed angrily, "Damn you, Dedede! I will have my revenge, and I will collect that pay!"


	3. Guilt Trip: PT 3

Part three to "Guilt Trip" before we present episode two. Enjoy!

* * *

_Bang!_ _Bang!_

Tokkori let out a squawk, and the bottled ship he had been constructing diligently with a pair of tweezers caved in on itself. The planks, mast, sail, deck—everything fell to pieces. The yellow bird clacked his beak angrily and tossed the tweezers on the ground, swearing audibly. "That took me three hours to make, and for what? First those kids send me on a wild goose chase, and now they have the nerve to show their faces here again!"

Angrily, he abandoned his project on the table and fluttered to the door, beating his wings rapidly against the air. "Listen up, you obnoxious brats," he began, using his talons to grab the doorknob and twist it, "I've had just enough of you! Oh, you're _in_ for it; my beak's been sharpened to a needle-fine point—"

Tokkori had just a few seconds to thrust open the door before he came face-to-face with Galaxia's menacing tip. He drew back quickly, fluttering in the opposite direction to avoid the gleaming blade. As he backed into the dome-shaped house Sword and Blade entered, followed by Meta Knight, his sword still thrust out in advance.

"Where's Fumu and Bun?" Sword demanded.

Blade tacked on crisply, "We're not messing around, Tokkori. We need answers. Now."

"Shit! Shit! Shit! I know nothing, and I'm saying nothing," stuttered Tokkori, gulping. "Now, please kindly remove your carcasses off of my property!"

"He's not telling us something." Sword unsheathed his weapon, as did Blade, and the two warriors took a step in Tokkori's direction.

Blade added, "He could be trying to shelter them. Perhaps Bun and Fumu put him up to it?"

"Those crazy kids put nothing up to me!" Tokkori protested, shaking his head wildly back and forth.

"You do seem awfully jittery," Sword remarked, raising his serrated weapon to Tokkori's face. Blade mimicked him.

Meta Knight gave a long sigh, and pointed out with a reasonable air of authority and exasperation, "I'd be pretty _jittery _too if three men in armor bursted into my house and threatened me. Why don't you both take a second to sheathe your swords and see if Tokkori will cooperate _without _being threatened? Interrogation doesn't require violence."

"Oh," both subordinates echoed, instantly lowering their swords and sheathing them. "Sorry, sir!" they chimed, and hastily drew back on either side of Meta Knight.

"Outside, Tokkori," Meta Knight ordered. "Now."

Needing no further encouragement, Tokkori hastily flapped his wings and zipped past them, roosting on the rim of the door. The three knights followed him outside and stood in a line, gazing up at the yellow bird.

"What's up?" Tokkori asked, cocking his head to and fro. "Whaddaya need _now_? Come here to fill poor old Tokkori's head with nonsense? Or stick him with over-sized toothpicks and roast him over a cooking fire?"

"As we said before," Sword began, crossing his arms and scuffing the grass with a foot, "we need to know the whereabouts of Fumu, Bun, and possibly Kirby."

"We assumed they'd have come here after...fleeing." Blade shrugged helplessly.

"Fleeing?" repeated Tokkori with greedy interest. His black eyes lit up, and the bird rubbed his wings together in anticipation. "Hey, you can let me in on the secret, can't ya? What did those two do now?"

Meta Knight spoke next: "You speak as if they've already committed some sort of criminal act against you."

Tokkori faltered. "Well... it wasn't 'criminal,' but they did, however, tell me that there was a picnic going on near Whispy Woods three days ago. I went, and sat there looking like an idiot. And it was terrible, too, 'cause I came back here ready to peck some sense into their noggins and discovered they'd already left. Strange, too," he remarked, cracking open an eye and haughtily surveying the three nights. "It was almost like they were trying to get rid of me. And Kirby picked up some new vocabulary, too, that I've only ever heard come out of _Borun's_ mouth."

"Chief Borun?" Sword echoed. "Why would you say that? What words, Tokkori?"

Tokkori snorted skeptically and rolled his eyes. "Bah! When Pinky finally came home 'round evening I was about to yell at him for earlier, and the first word that popped out of his mouth was, 'Murder.'"

Meta Knight stiffened; his grip on Galaxia tightened. Sword and Blade swapped anxious looks (not that you could tell beneath their helmets).

"Anything else?" the Star Warrior demanded.

"Yeah. 'Guilty,' 'dead,' and 'killed them.'"

"Wasn't three days ago when King Dedede and Escargon first disappeared?" Sword questioned aloud.

"Is that what this is about?" asked Tokkori, folding back his wings. "You think that the kids were witnesses or something? Oh, I get it! It's like a witness protection program, ain't it? And somehow the kids are in danger from being killed by His Royal Fatness and Sir Screams-A-Lot. Am I right? Huh? Huh?" He began to hop up and down excitedly.

Meta Knight's piercing glare silenced Tokkori. "At the moment we don't know what to believe, though we have our suspicions. Your guess is as good as ours."

"Though your assumption," said Blade ominously, "is far from the conclusion we've reached."

Tokkori blinked stupidly. "And what would_ that_ be?"

A new voice spoke, low and troubled. "You think that the kids are the killers."

The four of them swung their heads around in unison to see Coo perched in the tree that overshadowed Kirby's house. The purple-feathered owl let out a single, clear hoot, and shuffled his feathers.

Blade let go of his sword in amazement, and it clattered to the ground at his feet. "How did you know...?"

Coo gave them a queer expression through half-lidded eyes. "I played witness to the transaction. It was...sickening."

Tokkori gave a wild cry of excitement and fluttered up onto Coo's branch, perching beside the great owl. "Was there blood and gore, or was it a clean kill? Don't spare us the details, either!"

Meta Knight gazed up at Coo, his yellow eyes flashing red for the second time that day. "They killed them? Are you sure of this, Coo?"

Coo shook his head. "Yes and no," replied the owl wearily, ruffling his plumage. "What I saw occur I can recite with detail. However, their intentions are...uncertain."

"What happened? And like Tokkori said," whispered the Star Warrior, "do not spare us of anything. Understand?"

Coo hooted throatily. "I was unable to hear what they said, though I can...vividly recall...Dedede's and Ecargon's screams."

"Screams?" chirped Tokkori.

"Screams," Coo affirmed. "His Majesty and Escargon-san had been patrolling near a waterfall in Whispy Woods. Their intentions I know not, but I was surprised when the children—without Kirby—snuck up behind Dedede and Escargon. They said something, and I'm not sure—maybe?—they pushed the king and Escargon into the stream. Then they stood there for a few seconds, conversing in loud, unintelligible voices, before Fumu brought Bun's attention to a sign veiled by ivy before taking off downstream, Bun following after a moment's hesitation."

"What did the sign say?" Blade asked curiously.

"'Danger — strong current.' I flew back to read it after Dedede and Escargon...no," the owl wilted to half his regular size out of fear, his feathers compressing against his bulky frame, "please do not ask me to tell you what happened next."

"Coo." A dangerous note crept into Meta Knight's voice. Threatening, perhaps? "Do _not _spare us the details. We must know what transpired."

"V-Very well." Coo straightened. "The kids approached the falls and found Dedede and Escargon clinging to a branch that was growing out of the cliff side. They bent over to help them—or so I thought, because a moment later Bun released Dedede and then his sister let go of Escargon, and..." The owl muttered in a trembling voice, "That's when I heard the s-screams. They plunged into the fog, and even with my keen eyesight I lost my visual on them. Their bodies were never found; the kids searched high and low, as did I once they went to return to the castle presumably. Dedede and Escargon I pronounced dead shortly after."

Tokkori uttered a low, impressed whistle that earned him a rebuking glare from the older raptor.

"Now the question left unanswered," Coo hooted, regaining some of his posture, "is whether or not this was an accident or intentional murder."

Blade lowered his head and surveyed the ground sullenly. "I...I never would have suspected the kids of something so devious."

"We can't put this past them," Sword chipped in. "Hopefully—and I pray—that their intentions were good. Maybe they were trying to protect Kirby?"

"Doubtful," Meta Knight cut across.

"What do we do now?" fretted Sword, pacing back and forth restlessly behind Meta Knight and Blade. "What do we say to them?"

"Maybe they fled Pupu Village after that little incident in the library?" Blade suggested.

Coo shook his head. "Unlikely, as I saw them on the way here. They were accompanied by some sort of animal, too."

"Animal?" Tokkori squawked nervously.

The owl nodded. "I didn't know what to make of it. Certainly, it seemed as if they were returning to the scene of the crime. Might I suggest following them?" Coo offered heavily.

Meta Knight didn't need any invitations; the Star Warrior was already whisking around, his purple cape billowing out behind him, as he prepared to set off in the direction of Whispy Woods.

As Blade and Sword made to follow, Tokkori lofted into the air and zipped in front of the three knights. "Wait!" he cried, looking suddenly uncertain. "Listen, I know that I don't, er, get along well with Kirby, and I've never been Fumu and Bun's fondest friend, but..." He hesitated, beating his yellow wings in a rapid blur, before blurting out, "What are you going to do? You're not going to hurt them, are you? What if they're innocent?"

The question struck Meta Knight as uncannily familiar to what Lololo had asked of him earlier. Drawing his cape tightly around him, the Star Warrior muttered without glancing back, "If they're not innocent, they will be punished," before retreating down the hillside, his two subordinates following.

Coo and Tokkori exchanged mortified expressions, before the larger of the two birds silently rose into the air.

* * *

Sei-an pressed his long, ropelike muzzle against the rocky soil and inhaled deeply.

"What is it, boy?" Bun asked.

The trio plus their new demon beast were at the base of the falls, exploring around the woodland clearing where the waterfall emptied into a shallow, rock-studded basin, then a winding stream. It had taken them less time to reach the site atop Sei-an's back, saddled as it was and fit for long struts between locations. As Bun had put it during their bumpy ride, "C-Customer S-S-Servive was-was-wasn't ki-ki-kidding wh-when he said f-f-fast!"

Fumu slid out of the saddle and paced up to the anteater's head, raising a hand to methodically scratch behind Sei-an's ears. He emitted a deep, thrumming purring noise from within his pouchy throat, before lightly licking her across the cheek.

"You sure are affectionate, aren't you?" amazed Fumu, rubbing her cheek with a fist.

"Poyo!" Kirby hopped out of the saddle and skidded up to Sei-an's head. The tiny Star Warrior gazed questioningly at Fumu, as if to ask, _What now?_

Fumu shrugged. "Kabu said that they were—what were his exact words again? Oh, yeah: 'It is a hidden place, veiled by a cataract and deep below the earth...look in the place you would last expect...' Well, _that's _certainly helpful," she snorted. "See anything?" she asked Bun hopefully.

"Nope," her brother replied. "Have Sei-an give the hat another good sniff."

Reluctantly, Fumu pulled out the hat and waved it in front of the demon beast's face. The tusked anteater inhaled deeply, taking in the overbearing scent that the snowballed hat had accumulated from being worn by Dedede so many times. Its ears flicked up and pricked, the demon beast stuck out its tongue, as if tasting the air; Sei-an uttered a low noise and blundered toward the edge of the pool, wading in the shallows while his bottlebrush tail lashed in feverish excitement.

"Poyo poy!" cried Kirby as he joined Sei-an in the water.

Fumu blinked in amazement. "Did Sei-an just pick up the scent trail?"

"He couldn't have," Bun scoffed. "It's a dead end. There's nothing else here."

"But then why did he react so strongly?" Fumu argued.

"Maybe he was thirsty," Bun retorted, crossing his arms.

"How would you know?" Fumu demanded angrily.

Bun stuck his face out. "Because I do."

While the two continued to squabble—with Sei-an still pacing in the shallows—Kirby began to venture closer toward the waterfall. It pounded across the crags and fed into the hungry river below. An awesome sight of nature's power...if anyone had bothered to appreciate it, that is.

The pink Star Warrior inhaled, then puffed out his cheeks and carefully floated over the dagger-sharp rocks that jutted out at the base of the waterfall. He perched precariously atop one of them and peered into the spray that misted out from the cascading water. So white, so soft, so foamy...the desire to reach out and touch it was overwhelming...

Kirby took a step forward. However, his foot slipped over the waxy and damp surface of the uneven surface of the rock, and Kirby began to balance on one foot. "Kaabii! Kaabii!" he hollered. "Poyo!"

Bun and Fumu halted their argument long enough to look up and see Kirby slip over the edge and vanish into the water.

"Shoot!" Fumu yelped. "We've got to help him!" She clambered back onto Sei-an's back and reached over the side to offer Bun her hand.

Bun didn't take it, however. "Do you think Sei-an can handle the currents? Or swim, for that matter? Remember dear old Blocky that sank like a _rock_? (No pun intended.)"

"There's no time to worry about that! Kirby might drown!" yelled Fumu, and without regarding her brother she clasped his wrist and heaved him over the side of Sei-an's back, onto the saddle just behind her. With both legs she kicked Sei-an's flanks, crying, "Go into the water!" and the demon beast responded by plunging directly into the deepest section of the water where Kirby had went under.

Their vision spun, painted blue by individual droplets of water under the surrounding surface. Fumu and Bun floundered helplessly, trying with feeble strength to cling to Sei-an as an underwater current tugged viciously at their clothing. Dead-weights in the water, they were forced under the tumult of the pounding falls where froth and mist sprayed at the surface.

Bun choked on a mouthful of water, inhaling it accidentally. Fumu watched in dismay as his grip on Sei-an's saddle slipped, and he was dragged down far below them.

Desperate, Fumu released Sei-an and paddled after him in the merciless rapids, finding that it sucked hungrily and dragged her and the demon beast farther down toward—

Fumu nearly choked on water in amazement. A cave?

Like the jaws of some stone-carved beast, the current was dragging them directly into the cavern. Slightly ahead of them, Bun was already disappearing into the stone prison. Fumu shut her eyes and braced herself.

Noise flooded her ears; the pressure built up until they nearly popped. Then, just as she thought her lungs would burst, Fumu was thrown upside down and forced into the air. With a hard smack she landed in near pitch black darkness against a slimy, cold floor, dripping wet and exhausted.

"Fumu?" croaked a voice. Fumu nearly spluttered with relief.

"Bun!" She sat up and managed to drag herself toward the sound of his voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "Nothing's broken. Hey, wait, where's the demon beast and Kirby?"

Behind them echoed a loud "POYO!" followed by the deep, sucking noise Sei-an made. A second later the pink blob ran headlong into Fumu, embracing her with a spine-crushing hug.

"It's—oww—good to see you too, Kirby," Fumu said weakly, giving him a pained smile. "Mind easing up on the grip, killer?"

"Poyo! Poyo!" Kirby released her and took a step back. In the darkness it was impossible to make out his circular frame, or Sei-an's hulking bulk.

As if to punctuate the point, Bun murmured, "Geez, it's dark down here. I can't see my hand in front of my own face. What do we do?" he asked somewhat nervously.

Fumu shook her head, her wet ponytail slapping against her face as she moved. "I don't know—huh?" Something soft like a fabric brushed against her arm.

She reached out and touched it with her palm, feeling straps, pockets, a zipper... "A backpack?"

Sei-an gave a throaty purr and forced the backpack into her outstretched hands. Fumu accepted the gift with surprise and reluctance. "Uh...thanks?"

"What is it?" Bun called out softly.

"Poyo?" Kirby added, padding over to Fumu's side and poking it.

"Did you sniff this out, Sei-an?" Fumu asked the anteater demon beast.

It responded by making several cooing noises and nuzzling her with its long muzzle.

"Where did it come from?" asked Bun, approaching on Fumu's left.

Fumu didn't respond right away, but instead unzipped the bag and groped around the inside, feeling its contents."Wait a second..." She yanked out what felt like a square of paper with little sticks enfolded against the inside. "I think I found some matches."

"Great, because the current washed up tons of driftwood; I crashed into it, so I should know." Bum grimaced in the inky darkness. "Wait one second and I'll go get some dry kindling."

He returned one second later, and fumbled with trying to hand her the wood. The transaction took place, and Fumu carefully slipped out a match, striking it across the sandpaper. There was a tense moment of anticipation before the stick combusted, and a tiny luminescent flame burst at the tip, creating a twelve-inch circle of light around itself. Kirby's pink face was illuminated by the glow, as was Bun's hair and Sei-an's tusks.

With delicacy Fumu transplanted the match's minuscule flare onto the blunter, broader end of the kindling, and the newly-created torch burst to life. Fire crackled from the tip, creating a larger scope of light for them to see from. The four of them were cast in shadows; beside them, a pool of water radiated; to their right, a new tunnel snaked farther back into the depths of the underground cavern.

Fumu held up the backpack and studied it. "This looks like Dedede's."

To prove her point, Fumu held it up to Sei-an's mouth. He flicked out his tongue, inhaling the scent clinging to it, before bobbing his head up and down in a "yes" answer.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked, pointing toward the new tunnel.

Fumu shrugged. "I don't see Dedede or Escargon's bodies, so..."

Bun tapped his chin. "What do you suppose the chances are they survived and didn't drown, and just moved ahead?"

"That doesn't explain why they didn't just turn up at the village by now. Three days is a long time to get lost then found," Fumu retorted, "unless..." She gulped. "Unless there's a dead end, and they reached it and starved to death, or the tunnel caved in on them, or—"

"Poyo!" Kirby said, cutting her across sharply.

"Kirby's right, sis," Bun pointed out reasonably. "You can't get yourself worked up over nothing. I'm sure there's a way out; we just have to follow the tunnel and find it."

Fumu balled her hands into fists. "You're right," she declared quietly, lifting up her chin. _Show no fear. _"We have to keep moving. C'mon, guys."

Torch raised and held high, she led the way down the tunnel, Sei-an's reigns in one hand, while Kirby and her brother followed after her into the darkness...

* * *

Ten minutes later and the group was growing restless. Not only that, but the temperature and humidity had increased, causing them to sweat profusely.

Agitated, Bun asked his sister, "How long do you suppose we've been at this?"

"Dunno," Fumu rasped, waving the torch ahead of her. "I'm more worried about the flame extinguishing, and the length of the tunnel. If we're down here for hours and have no food or first aid, then we're screwed."

"Poyo," whimpered Kirby, edging closer to Fumu's side.

"Why is the fire dying?" Bun questioned her.

"Because," Fumu sniffed, going into one of her "modes," "fire needs to feed on air in order to keep existing, just as all living things do. Even though this cave creates an unusual air pocket, it doesn't offer an abundant enough supply of fresh oxygen to keep the flame going. Which leads me to wonder: Will we suffocate down here, if there isn't enough air down here for _us_?"

Kirby sighed. "Poyo poy..."

Bun (who had taken it upon himself to handle Sei-an's reigns for a duration of the time) felt a fierce tug behind him; he jerked around in response to see that the anteater-like demon beast had backtracked down the length of the passage they had come from. He was struggling against his reigns to pull Bun back the way they had come.

"What gives? Hey, sis, this thing is acting up!" Bun cried, digging his heels into the ground in order to pull back.

Fumu swung the torch around; its light barely skimmed over Bun, allowing the darkness to swallow Sei-an entirely. "Sei-an, behave, please!"

"Poyo!" Kirby called out, pointing at the torch.

Bun and Fumu just barely had the chance to glimpse the fire as it sputtered out.

"Shit!" Bun cursed. "What rotten luck." The cave was plunged into pitch black shadows once again.

Fumu's voice resonated from his right. "Great! The oxygen levels needed to sustain fire must have depleted! _Now_ what do we do?"

"Sis?" Bun's voice choked out of his throat.

"What is it?" mused Fumu.

"Poyo!"

"Yeah, I think I see it, too," whispered Bun. "And hey, Sei-an stopped tugging..."

"Oh, honestly," growled Fumu, rolling her eyes, "what's the matter now?"

Bun gulped. "I don't know what that is, but I don't think we're alone anymore."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Fumu asked with a touch of grouchiness—and fear.

"Poyo poy," Kirby stated, tugging on Fumu's sleeve and pointing in some obscure direction. Fumu glanced up, suddenly acutely aware of two yellow, glowing, half-lidded ovals levitating in the darkness. They flashed briefly, turning red for a moment, then canceled out altogether into the black.

Bun's voice filled the air. "What the _hell_ was that?"

Too scared to reply, Fumu didn't answer. Instead, something else did: Sei-an let out a bellow of terror, and Bun gave a yelp as the reigns were ripped out of his hands. Kirby then let out a cry of fright—or was it pain?—before his presence at Fumu's side vanished.

Fumu swung her head around, about to strike out and grab blindly for her friend, when suddenly a pair of hands rammed into her back and thrust her face-first against a tunnel wall.

A grim voice, high with triumph, cried out, "We've got them!"

"Is that all of them?" asked a second voice.

Fumu gasped as she recognized the speakers, the third the clearest of all: "Yes."

From his outstretched palm a flashlight clicked on, the light reflecting off of Meta Knight's metallic armor.

Bun was carefully being tied with his wrists shoved behind his back by Blade, while Meta Knight was gripping Sei-an's reigns with his free hand, trying to tie a thick cord of rope around his neck. Fumu felt Sword grasp her wrists and tie a knot around her own before stepping back, dragging her with him.

In the midst of this sea of chaos Kirby sat idly by, watching with a bewildered expression as his allies became his enemies in a sudden paradox of things.

"What's going on?" Fumu spluttered as she faced her captures.

Though they were in the company of their "friends," it was disconcerting how ominously they had been behaving, treating them like prisoners of war.

Bun jerked his chin up defiantly. "Are you all crazy? What are you doing?"

Meta Knight's yellow gaze smoldered, transforming red for the forth time that day. His cold glare was intimidating; there was a reason why his enemies feared Meta Knight. In clipped tones, the Star Warrior announced, "You are both under arrest for murder."

"Murder?" squeaked Fumu, her blood running cold.

"Guilty!" Kirby piped up innocently; the two siblings shot him bewildered looks, and Bun cried out, "Shut up!"

"We also have more charges against you," Sword chipped in from behind Fumu. "Possession of an illegal demon beast."

"That's not a demon beast," Bun laughed nervously, his voice cracking in fear. "That's, uh, Fluffy!"

"I thought that you said Fluffy was a cat?" mused Blade, his grip on Bun's wrists slackening somewhat as he paused to recall the memory.

Bun grinned awkwardly. "This is Fluffy number two. He ate the cat!"

Fumu shook her head dejectedly.

"You can't put that one past me." Meta Knight's tone was steely with tempered fury. "I recognize Sei-an well. Nightmare used him one time to track down my squad on a planet we were stationed at during the war."

"Don't say anything, either of you!" Bun burst out, throwing Kirby and Fumu crazed looks. "Not until we see our lawyer."

With a harsh, barklike laugh, Sword contradicted him icily: "You're not going anywhere until we have an answer, or a confession."

Rocks clattered beneath Meta Knight's feet as he stalked up to them, facing the duo with one hand on the pommel of Galaxia. He unsheathed the yellow-and-orange sword, its triangular tips running down both flanks like individual knives. The sight was something out of a horror movie.

"I won't ask you two again." Meta Knight raised the blade with his right hand, his left still carrying the flashlight and Sei-an's reigns. "What are you two doing down here with this demon beast?"

Silence followed. The siblings exchanged looks; then, Bun dared to ask, "Hey, why isn't Kirby gagged and tied up like we are?"

"It's for his own protection," replied Sword. "We want him separate from the murderers."

"Answer the question!" ordered Blade, his grip tightening again on his captive.

Meta Knight stalked forward; Fumu's pulse heightened to an ecstatic, tenfold rate as the Star Warrior approached her with a menacing air of danger. In warning he extended his blade, pressing it against the tender skin of her throat; they stood nary inches apart. The tension rippled in the air between them like a storm about to break. Galaxia's cold metal made Fumu try to struggle backward and retreat; alas, Sword held her in place, so she was unable to pull away.

Meta Knight's husky whisper made Fumu shiver and Bun wince, choking out, "Sis..."

The older Star Warrior spoke: "We don't have to kill you to get information, but when you threaten the existence of this village, its inhabitants, and Kirby's life by placing him in the presence of one of Nightmare's pawns, we will use force."

Galaxia's edge cut into her throat, producing a thin trickle of blood. Fumu swallowed; tears began to gather in the corner of her eyes, and she bit back a sob.

Kirby took a step forward, looking torn between fight and flight; only a stern nod from Meta Knight stopped him from advancing any further.

"Master yourself, Kirby," Meta Knight growled.

"Poyo..." Kirby whimpered.

Sword suddenly sounded uncertain. "Sir," he dared to ask, "you wouldn't go any further—would you?"

"Yeah," piped up Blade, "enough is enough."

Meta Knight's gaze flickered to them briefly, silencing any forming protests against his actions. Sei-an snorted warily.

"You don't have to take this any further," Fumu gasped, tears sliding down her cheeks in a silent cascade. "We'll—I-I'll ta-talk."

"Good girl." Meta Knight lowered his sword, but left it unsheathed—just in case. His red gaze finally returned to a wan yellow color.

After a moment of heavy quietness, Fumu managed to spit out between wretched sobs and heavy breathing, "We purchased Sei-an to track down Dedede and Escargon."

"You did what?" Taken aback, Sword let go of Fumu's wrists for a few heartbeats.

"But they're dead!" cried Blade in equal confusion.

"Kabu said that they're 'resting' down here, and that they need to be retrieved," Bun tacked on. "We wanted to try and find them—or what's left of them, if their bodies haven't been picked apart by blood-hungry worms."

Ignoring Bun's disgusted scorn, Fumu continued on with a depressed sigh: "At least we'd have something to bring back, dead or alive, before we turned ourselves in."

"Or fled the country with Kirby," Bun added helpfully, offering a rueful smile.

Fumu's scorching glare left Bun meek and regretful. "Sorry, not helping, I know."

Meta Knight still sounded hostile and guarded. "Why would murderers want to look for their victims' bodies?"

"We didn't kill them!" Bun spat out angrily. "It was an accident. I startled them, they fell in, then we tried to go and rescue them, and we couldn't pull them back up. I had to let go of Dedede before he dragged me under with him."

"And I was so shocked that I let Escargon's grip slip," Fumu stated quietly.

"Huh." Blade snorted. "A likely story."

"It's the truth!" Bun shouted, and he started to struggle against the ropes. "Honestly, why would we want to kill them? He's the one always trying to kill _us_! And here I thought you three would be glad if lard-butt and His Excellent Pain-In-the-Ass were gone for good."

_Ching._

Galaxia was thrust into Bun's face, not in the same manor as Fumu, but rather the tip was parallel with Bun's nose. He went cross-eyed beneath his mop of hair trying to keep the weapon in sight. (Though how he could see in the first place remains a mystery.)

"Watch it," Meta Knight warned.

Sword asked tersely, "Is that it, then? You both expect us to believe you?"

"Poyo!" To everyone's surprise, Kirby ran forward and swatted away Galaxia's tip from Bun's face. Glaring, the pink Star Warrior planted himself between the kids and Meta Knight, inflating himself to twice his natural size. Veteran and apprentice met eye-to-eye. Puzzled, the older Star Warrior lowered Galaxia.

"You trust them, then?" Meta Knight pondered aloud.

Kirby nodded firmly.

"Well," he muttered, sheathing Galaxia, "that settles it, then. Obviously we won't get any other answer out of the kids until we're above ground, and even then I doubt they'll alter their story. Kirby believes them, and the innocent are free, as I've always believed. He's free to choose whom he trusts. However..." He trailed off, then resumed his speech: "Until this matter is closed and we decide just how convicted the two of you are"—he rested his piercing gaze on Bun and a tear-stained Fumu—"Sword, Blade, keep them bound. We'll resume our search and delve deeper; if His Majesty and Escargon-san are indeed down here, then we'll bring their bodies back up to the surface."

"Wait!" Fumu cried out. "How do we know that there's an exit?"

"Poyo," Kirby added, nestling closer to Fumu.

Meta Knight answered gruffly, "We don't know," before turning toward his subordinates. "Bring them to their feet and let's move out. I'll lead the way with Sei-an. If there are any forks in our path, I'll have him excavate for a fresh air-scent to follow out. Kirby, stay by my side."

When Kirby refused to budge, Meta Knight growled, "Now," and reluctantly Kirby cast his friends a forlorn look before joining the cape-wearing warrior.

Meta Knight's last words were a coup of advice for Sword and Blade: "If they present you with any trouble, deal with them."

"In what way?" Sword asked.

A pregnant pause, then: "In any way you can. Just don't resort to extolling heavy bloodshed or death."

With Sei-an at the head of their procession, the group proceeded forward into the depths of the winding tunnel.

In a fierce undertone, Bun whispered to Fumu, "Sis, in case we don't make it out of this...alive"—he gulped—"then I just want to apologize for every mean thing I've done, and every cruel word I've ever said behind your back."

"Apology accepted, and ditto," Fumu replied.

"Wait a second..." they both went, then in raised voices, at the same time, accused, "You've said things behind my back?!"

To their surprise, Blade broke the grim silence with a chuckle.

Meta Knight didn't react, though a response was prompted out of Sword. "Can you remember all of the times we've bickered like that?"

"Though it was always under more pleasant circumstances," replied Blade, lowering his voice a few octaves.

No one spoke for several minutes as they proceeded farther down the length of the narrow tunnel. It always remained just big enough for them to walk comfortably without the cave roof pressing down on their heads.

Out of the corner of his mouth, Bun muttered, "Sis."

"Yeah?" she responded.

He broke off for a second, then Bun continued: "Do you remember what Kabu said about where they might be?"

Fumu paused in thought, then answered, "Yes. What about it?"

"Do you think we should relay more of his message? To me, it sounded like Kabu was saying that they were more then likely in He—"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Bun. I don't want to talk about it."

"Well, I do!" hissed Bun in a fierce undertone. "It's getting darker down here, even with Sir Meta Knight's flashlight, and this temperature is so bloody hot. Where else could this tunnel be leading?"

"What are you two whispering about?" Blade asked from behind Bun. "Some advice: It doesn't look good if you fiddle along gossiping like common criminals."

"You could be plotting something," Sword pointed out, nodding.

Bun mouthed, _Should we warn them?_ To which Fumu snapped, "No."

"'No' what?" Sword asked, an edge creeping into his voice.

"Hey!" Meta Knight's voice rang from several yards ahead of them. "Kirby, Sei-an and I are leaving you four behind if you don't pick up the pace. Stay within reach. If there's trouble, I want to be able to _solve_ it right away."

"Yes, sir," Blade and Sword chorused in unison.

Resuming a steadfast pace, Bun declared quietly, "They have a right to know!"

"Well, _we_ definitely don't belong there!" Fumu retorted. "Anyway, Kabu is always talking in riddles. For all you know, he could have meant underground geysers or volcanic activity that was previously dormant. Or...or geothermal pressure points below the earth's surface."

"Speak up, kids," jeered Blade, "I can't quite hear what you're whispering about."

"We should." Bun stamped his foot as he walked.

"Shouldn't."

"Should."

"Shouldn't."

"_Should._"

"_Shouldn't._"

"Should—"

"'Should' what?"

They both threw their faces up and bit back gasps; Meta Knight had silently retreated backwards and come to stand before them without their noticing. Thankfully, Galaxia was in its holster. Still, Meta Knight alone was intimidating enough without a foot-long blade being shoved in their faces.

Bun burst out anxiously, "Kabu told us where the tunnel lets out at!"

Fumu stepped on Bun's left foot, causing him to yelp out in pain. "Kabu did not," she snarled. "More like 'hinted at' then 'directly implied' our destination point."

The Star Warrior drew his cape around him more securely. He sounded more curious and concerned rather than angry. "And where would that be?"

"Answer truthfully," growled Blade, asserting some authority.

"You wouldn't think it was truthful, anyway," Bun replied, shaking his injured foot to shake off the aftermath of his sister's blow.

Meta Knight blinked. "Try me."

"Well, then," Bun smirked slightly, "Kabu said we sent them straight to hell."

Fumu gaped disbelievingly, while Kirby parroted the word: "Hell? Poyo! Kaabii. Kaabii."

Though they couldn't see Blade's or Sword's expressions beneath their helmets, judging by the way their vicelike grips diminished entirely led the kids to believe that they were shocked (understatement of the century).

Meta Knight stood still for so long that Kirby actually had to poke him once to prompt a response out of him. "Come again? You—did—_what_?"

Before anyone could respond, Sei-an jerked the reigns free of Meta Knight's hands and bounded out of the flashlight's beam, vanishing in the unfathomable darkness ahead.

"Follow me," Meta Knight ordered deftly, and he whisked around and hared down the passage, his cape billowing out behind him. The group heard the sheathe of steel as first Meta Knight drew Galaxia, while his two followers raised their own weapons of choice.

"What is it, sir?" cried Blade up ahead.

Meta Knight's response echoed back: "He's picked up Dedede's and Escargon's scent! Bring Kirby and the kids and follow me!"

"Roger," replied the two knights, beginning to usher and herd Bun, Fumu and Kirby along.

They ran awkwardly at first, being tied at the wrists, but were soon able to keep at a steady jogging lope over the unstable terrain. The tunnel began to gradually widen, and a fresh breeze began to billow into their faces.

"This is it, Fumu!" Bun yelled. "Brace yourselves!"

Light enveloped them, a glaring flash of white, the overwhelming, repugnant smell of ash, and then—

They nearly collided into Meta Knight from behind. Stumbling, then regaining their balance, the six of them realized where they were.

Lava bubbled below them; it was a huge crater that formed a vast lake of red, molten material that could scorch anything that touched it. They stood on an outcrop along the rim of the crater that overlooked the steaming basin. Sei-an was precariously perched along the edge, scenting the air and ash-tinged soil with his long, ropelike muzzle.

"What in the world..." Bun gasped.

Fumu tossed back her head to inhale the sharp, crisp_er_ air of the outside world. (Hey, it is a volcano, after all; nothing here is minty fresh.) "We must be near the volcano. Not the main one, but—"

"Kaabii! Kaabii!" cried Kirby, pointing vigorously out toward the center of the lava pit.

Shifting their gazes, the six of them stared out, and in shock gasped or dropped whatever they were holding.

On a separate pillar of stone, seated atop the platform, sat Dedede and Escargon playing cards. And to the kids' surprise, Dedede had his hat on.

"Got any sixes?" Dedede asked without looking up at his playing mate.

"Go fish," sighed Escargon dully, tossing another card on top of the pile.

"Your Majesty! Your Excellency!" Meta Knight hollered over.

The two looked up at the same time with bored drawls on their faces, which quickly became excited, jubilant, slack-jawed smiles at the sight of their servants, arch nemeses, and a demon beast. "Over here!" Dedede yelled.

"Help us!" Escargon begged, jumping to his (er) feet. (?)

Sword's armor clinked as he turned to face Meta Knight. "How do we get to them? I don't think any of us can jump that far, and Kirby—I highly doubt—would be able to fly over and carry them across."

Fumu spoke up. "May I?"

Gaining their attention, she said studiously, "I could call the Warpstar..."

"Poyo!" Kirby agreed, jumping up and down twice on the spot.

The Star Warrior blanched; then, with a stern nod, he said, "Go ahead."

Fumu inhaled, then cried out in a clear, ringing voice, "KABU! Send the Warpstar!"

Within a few moments a familiar yellow star skimmed over the rocks, plunging into the crater and levitating, within a heartbeat, by Kirby's side like a loyal dog. Sei-an emitted a nervous growl and took a step back from the minute vehicle.

"Take Dedede and Escargon across and bring them to the opposite side. We'll take the long way and meet you over there," Meta Knight stated, already making an about face and turning toward the rocky wall behind them. "Blade, Sword, untie Bun and Fumu. Help them scale the rocks. Sei-an will be able to haul himself up to the ridge."

The Star Warrior braced himself, then gave a mighty leap that sent him onto a rock that jutted out of the wall. Reluctantly Fumu and Bun began to climb with Sword and Blade at their tail. Fumu didn't enjoy the prospect of climbing and getting grit and dirt into the open wound on her neck, where Galaxia's blade had torn away a tiny patch of skin. Even now blood still flowed freely, though the strength of the gushing had ebbed somewhat.

Kirby, meanwhile, floated out over the lava toward Dedede and Escargon, tilting on the Warpstar like a pro skateboarder, readjusting his footing in order to balance.

"Our saving grace!" Dedede cheered, shoving Escargon out of the way by bumping him in the eyes.

"Ouch! Hey!"

Dedede snorted, and as the Warpstar passed by, he darted forward and gripped a corner tightly. "Lift us off, little buddy!"

"Kaabii!" said Kirby brightly, beginning to urge the vehicle forward. Before it got farther than three feet from the platform (with Dedede clinging stubbornly to the edge) Escargon made a running leap.

"Wait, sire!" he yelped, tossing himself out over the lava in a spectacular jump (for a snail) and making a wild grab for Dedede's coat.

"Hey," snapped Dedede, glaring down at the hitchhiker, "watch it! You're going to stretch the fabric!"

Escargon grinned sheepishly, his face stained red by the riveting glow of the lava below.

Dedede turned his face up toward the underside of the base of the Warpstar. To Kirby, he complained, "Don't you dare drop us—oh, look! We're almost to land! Oh, sweet safety at long last!"

Dedede let go, dropping to the ground below with Escargon still clinging to his coat like a life ring. They landed awkwardly together on the dusty brown earth. Tears of gratitude streaming from their eyes, they knelt and began to kiss the ground at Kirby's feet pathetically.

"Get away from him!" shouted Fumu, and a moment later she ran toward Kirby, taking the pink Star Warrior by the hand and leading him away.

The rest of the group came running over. They had taken the more perilous way up, scaling the rocky wall of the crater's edge and traversing the steep steppes to reach the outer rim. Now safely away from the lava, they rendezvoused where Dedede and Escargon had been dropped off near the edge of the lava pit.

Bun hastily joined Kirby's and his sister's side.

Dedede looked up, and his gaze shadowed over with scheming. Quick as lightning, he jumped to his feet (along with Escargon) and declared, "You murderous, conniving children! You ought to be thrown in the dungeons for what you did to us!"

"What are you guys talking about? We tried to save you. And don't act so ungrateful; we didn't order a demon beast to track you down for nothing," sniffed Fumu, crossing her arms haughtily.

"You _used_ my ordering machine? And Customer Service treated you like a client?" Dedede mused, outraged.

Escargon jeered, "How do we know you didn't bring that thing here to kill us?"

"Sei-an wouldn't hurt a flea!" protested Bun.

"Wrong," Meta Knight corrected him. The Star Warrior stood several yards away, Blade and Sword on either side, watching the scene in (almost) silence. Their heads volleyed back and forth between the speakers.

"Nightmare did himself proud when he finally perfected a demon beast that can be both charming and docile, and vicious and ruthlessly cunning," Meta Knight added on, drawing his cape tightly around him. He tugged on Sei-an's reigns, and the giant anteater brayed.

"Aha!" crowed Dedede. "Then you did come here to murder us with that—that—that _thing_!"

Fumu drew herself up to her full height and leveled them up with a glare, spitting, "We don't try to devise assassination plots on a daily basis, unlike you two! We try to foil them."

"Well, well, well," retorted the king, "those 'mischief days' of yours will be coming shortly to an end, once I inform the villagers of your appointment at the gallows." Turning to Meta Knight, Dedede ordered, "You. You're my unquestioning servant. Apprehend those kids—dead or alive, it doesn't matter to me."

Bun and Fumu gasped, backing up and huddling against each other for support. Kirby skipped to their side and made the duo a trio, protecting them with all ten pounds of lightweight fat. (Estimated weight.)

"We'll fight them," Bun vowed, raising his fists in the knights' direction.

Kirby bristled, his normally cheerful exterior caught between anger and uncertainty. How could he attack a fellow Star Warrior, the one who always offered him advice, or stepped in on occasion to come to his aid?

Fumu retaliated with a stern scowl. "_We _didn't do anything. We _should_ be dethroning our 'king' for trying to plot against Kirby!"

A maniacal grin split across Dedede's and Escargon's faces; turning, the king faced his servants, a brow raised cockily. "So, they didn't tell you the whole story, did they?"

"What's the whole story, Your Majesty?" Meta Knight asked with quiet respect and mild interest.

"Those little demons," spat Dedede, pointing at the kids, "probably gave you a different story than what really happened. _Ahem_." Coughing, he began his version of their 'attack': "You see, it begins like this: Three days ago, Escargon and I—being the nature lovers we are—went birdwatching in Whispy Woods early that morning."

"Liar!" Fumu burst out.

"You were trying to find a cheap way to get rid of Kirby!" protested Bun hotly.

Dedede pulled out his mallet and raised in threateningly. "Don't test me; I'm already in a foul mood. As I was saying, we decided to take a minute to appreciate the scenery and stop by the waterfall to picnic on some apples we'd picked along the way."

"Which you were going to use as _bait_," Fumu interrupted.

"Quiet!" snapped Escargon.

Dedede coughed. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to say that all morning we had felt like we were being followed—and we were right."

"You didn't even know we were there till I walked right up behind you," Bun muttered through gritted teeth.

The king glowered and leaned on his mallet for support.

This time, however, the one who rebuked the kids was Meta Knight. "I listened to your story, and now I would like to hear His Majesty and Escargon-dono's. If you speak again I will disclose everything you've said and assassinate you on the spot, as my master has ordered."

Fumu and Bun didn't need any further encouragement to become tight-lipped and tongue-tied.

Satisfied, Dedede pressed on: "Just as we both bent over the water to see if there were any fish, Bun came up behind us, yelled, 'Let's see if they can swim!' before shoving us both into the water. We floundered helplessly in the water," he explained. "And I admit that I'm not a strong swimmer."

"Uh, you can't swim at all," Escargon pointed out reasonably, sweat-dropping.

Dedede threw back his rams and bopped Escargon over the head. "Neither can you," he declared over Escargon's renewed "oww, oww, oww!" of pain. "Just over the falls we managed to grab a hold of a gnarled branch that grew crookedly out of the rocks. Then, as we were pounded by the water, we heard their voices slowly approaching, as if those brats were taking their sweet old time while we clung for dear life."

Bun opened his mouth, about to make a comment, when Fumu slapped her hand across his jaws.

"Don't," she whispered, eyeing Meta Knight nervously.

Faking a hurt look, Dedede plowed on, "They were laughing at us!"

"Oh, the humiliation we suffered!" sobbed Escargon.

"Then they crept toward the edge of the waterfall and peered down at us, smiling innocently. Fumu and Bun both stretched out their hands, asking us if we wanted help. Oh, that blasted tomfoolery! What wretched trickery! We were_ fools_, I tell you, to have accepted their help, because a moment later Bun said, 'Nah, let's let them go for a dive!' and dropped us. Fumu replied, 'What a great idea,' and imitated him, letting Escargon plummet after me. Oh, I was sure we'd be impaled by all of those rocks at the bottom, but fortune smiled upon us and Lady Luck spared our lives."

"We washed up in the underwater cave," Escargon said helplessly, "with only two backpacks between us. The rest of our gear got destroyed in the falls."

"Fortunately," Dedede crowed smugly, "I had an extra hat!"

"But that was the least of our worries," Escargon continued. "We only had enough apples to last us for a few days, and you know how His Majesty eats." Ignoring Dedede's glare, the snail continued sheepishly, "Well, we were forced to abandon one of our backpacks, because we dropped it in the dark. Losing our matches was tough, because we had no other light sources, so we ended up stumbling around in the dark a lot. Then we finally made it to the end, after an hour of slowly walking—and crashing—through the tunnel."

"But how did you get stranded in the middle of the lava?" Sword inquired.

"Ah." Dedede shook his head sadly. "A tragic tale if I ever heard of one! You see, there was a small strip of land connecting both sides of the crater. We decided to try and cross—"

"—and it fragmented under his weight," Escargon finished. "Thus, we were trapped there, unable to move for days and only able to eat apples. _Blech! _We also didn't get a chance to use the bathroom," he added ruefully, scratching the back of his head.

"And that's the solid truth," Dedede concluded. "Ta-da!"

There was a moment of silence before Bun, Fumu and Kirby began talking at the same time.

"I would never follow Bun's advice and drop you—"

"—that's a load of shi—"

"—poyo, poyo poy! Kaabii—"

"—you practically brought this on yourselves—"

"—don't you dare use 'I can't swim' as an excuse—"

"—kaabii, kaabii—"

"—did _not_ intentionally let you fall over—"

Meta Knight, Blade, and Sword exchanged looks that were masked by their armor. Only the green flicker of Meta Knight's eyes gave away his mood.

"QUIET!" Dedede yelled over the kids' clamoring. Turning toward the knights, he puffed, "Now that you've heard both stories, arrest them! Tie them up and gag them (again)!"

"Or better yet," said Escargon eagerly, "kill them on the spot. Well, chop chop, hurry up already!"

Fumu and Bun began to back up with Kirby, their eyes locked firmly on the three knights. Bun spluttered, "C-Come on, you're not seriously going to believe that?"

"With their one-track record of trying to kill us," Fumu added hastily, "who's alibi is more believable? Ours, r-right?"

Meta Knight unsheathed Galaxia. "As your loyal servant," the Star Warrior murmured, "I would be more than willing to oblige and silence the kids. However... having heard the stories of both Fumu and Bun, your own version, and an unbiased witness's, yours has more holes in it and doesn't match up with either accounts. I'm sorry, but they are innocent, Your Majesty—that much I believe."

"WHAT?" yelled Dedede, angrily whamming his mallet into the ground and leaving a massive dent. "Who's was it?"

"Coo the owl," replied Sword quietly.

"Coo SAW US?" Bun roared. "And he never bothered to say anything?"

"Be glad he did to _them_," Fumu contradicted him. "Otherwise, we'd probably be dead."

Dedede fumed, turning bright scarlet in the face (Escargon actually began to back away nervously). Suddenly, the king's gaze fell on Sei-an, then Meta Knight. Having been cheated out of an easy victory, the little cogs in Dedede's brain were working overtime to make up for the little "slip up" in their beautiful plan. A frightening grin stretched across his face, and he began to stroll toward the warriors.

"You're _absolutely _right," he declared jubilantly, stopping in front of Meta Knight. "Obviously, these kids are innocent—there can be no two ways about it. However"—he reached forward and snatched the reigns out of Meta Knight's hands—"seeing that they used _my_ money and _my_ delivery system to order this demon beast, then by rightful laws—and I'm the law around these parts!—then this thing is...MINE."

Dedede stumbled back from Sei-an and pointed at Kirby, bellowing, "DESTROY HIM!"

"Squash that pink puffball, and on the double!" Escargon cheered, pumping the air with his fists.

Bun placed both hands on his hips and gave a stout bark of laughter. "Ha! That thing couldn't hurt a marshmallow!" He reached out and slapped Kirby lightly on the back. "This'll be an easy win. We'll celebrate it at Kawasaki's later."

"Poyo!" said Kirby, though he didn't seem as optimistic about eating as he usually did. Instead his gaze was fixed solely on the demon beast.

Fumu stiffened. "Bun..."

Her brother turned to look at her. "What?"

In response, Fumu pointed at Sei-an.

The anteater was trembling violently. Slowly, his tusks began to spread outward, nearly tripling in size. He began to increase in size, his fur growing more ragged and fringed along the edges. Wicked talons slid out of the paws, glinting ominously in the sunlight. His ropelike muzzle swished once, twice, thrice—and when he raised the mouth, he revealed a circle of serrated teeth rimming the entire edge.

Rearing up on its hind paws, Sei-an roared, dropped onto all four feet, and barreled forward like a bull.

"Look out!"

"Get out of the way!"

Sword and Blade charged forward and rammed into Fumu and Bun, grabbing them around the waist and dragging them out of harm's way in the nick of time. Unfortunately for Kirby, the pink Star Warrior made impact with the tusks and was trampled by the ten-foot behemoth.

Safely on the sidelines, Sword and Blade released their quarries before hastily examining them. "Are you okay?" Sword asked anxiously.

Fumu snapped, "We're fine, but what about Kirby?"

"He can handle himself—he has the Warpstar, after all," Blade assured them.

"Go, Kirby!" Bun cheered.

Watching, the held horrified witness as they saw Sei-an wrap its ropelike muzzle around Kirby and constrict him in a strangling grip.

Bun gave Blade a withering look. "You call that _handling_ it?"

Suddenly, the Warpstar rammed into Sei-an's flank, causing the giant anteater to release its captive and bellow in pain. Kirby plummeted to the ground. With lightning fast reflexes Kirby began to turn around, and made an remarkable leap into the air, landing squarely atop his yellow vehicle. Sei-an—recovered from the stunning blow—thrashed Kirby with a single whiplike motion of his muzzle, nearly causing Kirby to stumble off of the Warpstar and fall into the lava at the edge of the crater.

For several minutes the fight scene proceeded in this manner, with Kirby just barely able to evade Sei-an and avoid excruciating injury. He was starting to accumulate scratches and bruises, while Sei-an, in comparison, didn't have a mark on his pelt. Sei-an's blows were punctuated by Dedede's and Escargon's whoops of glee. ("Finish him off!" "Don't give in!" "Exterminate that pest!")

Fumu grew irritated and panicky. "We've got to help Kirby!" she cried at the same second Kirby was finally knocked off of the Warpstar and sent spiraling toward the earth.

Frantic, the girl abandoned her brother and knights to look for something, _anything_ that Kirby could inhale.

A rock. A rock, laying innocently not three feet away, no larger than her fist.

_That's it!_

"Kirby, suck it up!" Fumu yelled, scooping up the rock and hurtling it in his direction.

Instinctively, Kirby jumped to his red feet and darted forward, inflating his cheeks and popping open his mouth. A great _whooshing_ noise filled the arena as debris and the rock sailed down the glutton's throat. Fumu and Bun had to grab nearby boulders in order to avoid being inhaled.

A golden band, capped with a tiny golden star, erupted out of the air and formed a circlet around his head, creating the basis for his multi-layered navy helmet. While Kirby's skin darkened several shades of gray a red, sweeping plume waved from the back end of the helmet, completing the transformation into Kirby's copy ability.

"Oh _no_!" wailed Dedede, yanking at his hat. "Stone Kirby!"

"We're screwed," Escargon sobbed.

The king yelled vigorously, sounding a smidgen desperate, "You can still take him, boy!"

Stone Kirby emitted a high-pitched yell of, "Hoy!" before he increased, now on par with Sei-an in size. In place of smooth, bouncy, gray skin was a tough hide of pink-red granite. The helmet vanished.

The demon beast snorted and pawed at the ground, as if about to charge. Then, with a thunderous yell, Sei-an stampeded headlong into Kirby, making a beeline for the Star Warrior.

"I can't watch," Bun yelped, and he shoved his hands in front of his face.

_Thud._

Bun dared to crack open an eye, only to have both fly open in amazement. "It...it didn't even phase him."

Meta Knight spoke in a low, monotonous monotone: "He's too thick for a headlong charge to do any damage. In fact, all that it did do was stun Sei-an."

Grasping Sei-an by the tusks, Stone Kirby hoisted him over his head. With slow, methodic steps, the Star Warrior began to walk toward the edge of the crater, while the anteater demon beast struggled and flailed helplessly, snorting and braying as he sensed his impending doom.

Then, like tossing a sheet of paper, Stone Kirby threw back his arms and catapulted Sei-an into the lava below, as if the heavyset demon beast weighed nothing more than an ant. Sei-an's psychotic screams of anger turned to hysteria as he vanished below the lava and sank below the molten sea in a colorful explosion.

Dedede threw himself on the ledge and peered down, Escargon loyally at his side. "Sei-an, no! You can't die on us now!"

Escargon glanced over his shoulder at Stone Kirby, who was currently dusting off his hands. "Dedede, I think we better leave. As in, _now_."

Dedede paused long enough in his mourning to spare Stone Kirby a sidelong glance. Scowling and muttering, "Too right you are!" he bounced to his feet and grabbed Escargon by the shell. "Come on, let's go!"

Before Fumu could growl, "Now just wait one minute," the two took off at what would be considered a record "miles per hours pace" for such an overweight bird and sluggish snail. Their forms vanished as they stumbled over rocks and boulders, dashing over the rim of the crater and plunging into the wooden valley below the slope.

Stone Kirby opened his mouth, and hiccuped out the rock he had swallowed earlier, reverting him back to his miniature and more adorable pink complection.

Fumu paced up to Kirby and gave him a motherly bear hug. "You did it!" she squealed happily.

"Kaabii! Kaabii!" cried Kirby brightly.

Bun wiped his brow and crowed smugly, "Well, sis, we can finally breathe easy! Doesn't the fresh air taste wonderful now that we're not convicts?" He inhaled the air and coughed, having just taken in volcanic gas.

Fumu chuckled at her brother's obliviousness.

"Poyo!" Kirby added, jumping up and down happily. He seemed as pleased as his friends were, now that they needn't fear being charged with murder against the king.

Bun chipped in, "I'm so glad that we're finally off of this guilt trip!"

"Don't think you're through just yet."

The three of them stiffened and froze, swinging their heads in the direction of Meta Knight, Sword and Blade.

"You may be clear of your murder convictions," Meta Knight stated, padding up to them, "but you're still guilty of ordering that demon beast, which attacked Kirby, despite your good intentions."

Bun rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't think about that one," he mumbled.

Blade shook his head. He said, "You both knew that ordering that thing put Kirby in danger."

"You should have come to us in the very beginning," growled Sword.

Bun and Fumu exchanged nervous looks. Then, the brother decided to try and bargain his way out. "Say, how about this: for the rough treatment you gave us in the caves we call it even for ordering the demon beast."

"Certainly not." Was that amusement in Meta Knight's reply? More gently, the Star Warrior added, sparing a sideways glance at Fumu, "Would you like to have some medical attention for that cut I gave you, or rather have it seen to back at the castle? I don't want it becoming infected."

Embarrassed, Fumu waved aside his help. "Thanks, but it can wait till later."

"Now I have a question." Meta Knight finally sheathed Galaxia, and in a curious tone, addressed them: "How exactly did you pay for Sei-an?" Scolding crept like ivy into his voice. "You didn't steal from Dedede's vault, did you?"

Bun gave a dark chuckle. "Of course not."

Meta Knight drew his cape around him more securely. "Then how...?"

"Watermelon seeds," brother and sister answered at the same time.

"Suika!" cheered Kirby. Then, to their (not so) amazement, his stomach growled.

Blade and Sword both looked at each other in befuddlement. Sword inquired, "How did you manage to pull off that little 'stunt'?"

Again, together, the siblings sighed, "Don't ask."

As if a lightbulb had flashed over Bun's hair, he grinned, suddenly egged on by his new, clever idea. "Tell ya what: we'll let you know how we did it if you drop the punishment."

Meta Knight, had he had any eyebrows, would have raised them skeptically. "Don't even think about it."

"Just resign yourself to fate and pray for mercy," Fumu groaned, dragging her feet in the soil as she set off down the hill at a casual pace.

"Poyo?" Kirby asked, skipping after them.

"Kirby's right," Bun started as he took off after his sister, with Meta Knight, Sword and Blade in tow.

"Right about what?"

"You give up to easily."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

From his perch on a withered branch of a sycamore tree, Coo watched as the six of them descended down the peaty slope toward the trees. His beak cracked into a faint smile as he listened to their bantering.


End file.
